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Back when I was nine years old and in Little League, this kid I knew snorted a bit of purple pixy stix. He thought he would be hot shit and pretend it was cocaine or something. His nose started bleeding immediately.

When sleeping over someone's house for the first time, as a youth, I was prone to nosebleeds. Something to do with the firmness of their pillow, the dryness of the air, and the fact that I sleep on my face. It wasn't pleasant, although I always got a kick out of freaking them out. Kids who don't usually get nosebleeds seem to think its extremely painful.

My Dad told me a story once about how he was playing baseball in gym class. He was "in the hole" and the guy "on deck" was standing behind the batter. The guy up at bat hits a line drive and proceeds to fling the bat straight behind him. That guy on deck wasn't paying much attention apparently, because the bat hit him smack in the face and split his nose in half. Kind of a gross story to be telling your kid.. I guess it was supposed to teach me not to wing the bat like crazy after scoring a hit.

Of course, then there's always picking your nose too much. Or being Dennis Hopper and pissing off Christopher Walken (after lying to him about Clarence Worley's whereabouts)....

Just remember to pinch the base and tilt your head forward. That always works.

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