How to jump in puddles

· Make sure you don't care if your feet get splattered and your hair is wet, cause jumping with an umbrella is silly

· Grab some one so you don't look like a weirdo alone, until you become the guru of puddle jumping, cause if you are, it's OK.

· Take a compass and follow directions, you don't want to end up somewhere you didn't mean to, always jump north

· Find an innecent victim to jump next to, so they can at least have mud on them, perhaps they will even join the fun

· MOST OF ALL, MAKE SURE YOUR ROOMMATE DOESN"T SEE YOU WHIPE YOUR FEET ON HER RUG!

Oh dear dear dear dear I must protest!

According to Jellyface, my three year old son and professional puddle jumper, to properly jump in a puddle:

1) Wait until you have been changed into your best outfit for Uncle Jake's Bar Mitzvah/ Auntie Sparkleface's Wedding/ Grampa Dale's Funeral.

2) Find any puddle. If none are available, one is easily made by emptying a cup of juice in the dirt. If no juice is available then milk. If no milk then pee.

3) Jump jump jump jump jump all the while singing "The Ants Go Marching One By One Hurrah, Hurrah!" at the top of your lungs.

4) If you see an adult approaching, run and giggle till you are caught, then cry.