I feel this bright today as if my eyes are beginning to open from the cobwebs of a silent long-encumbering sleep. The murky mud of uncertain patterns has revealed to a small dream on the verge of faith. To hold and cherish the idea of the possible in mind is in itself reason enough to strive. As I learn to better calibrate and bridge with future opportunity, I shall allow myself to become more in mutlituded form the beautiful spiral of unbound self. And it is supremely only on the manna of your angelic surety that I am able to begin this precious bloom ahead beyond all time.

I really am a nice, affectionate, caring person and those who know me best could not imagine me as anything but so. There is no bit nor ounce of me which is cruel, mean, or petty in any shape form or way. Because of this, I am doomed and condemned through so much of life, pained and aggravated by the frustrations of truth and bitterly aching realities. I feel so contorted and distorted too much of the time, dragged down and beaten by the insistent ironies and troubling turmoils of life. It takes way too much courage and strength to be a profoundly effectively nice person in spite of all the odds against pure love. We tend to think of the simply good as lacking in proper character and will, that someone who dares to go beyond human bindings in heart and soul is actually someone weak, bland, uninteresting or strange, bizzare, crazy. We feel disconcertingly weird when someone rhapsodizes us in unconditional adoration. Because any admirer must inherently be human, we refuse to allow the transcendent emotion of others to conduit with our more vulgar realities. We feel that unexplained, perhaps even undeserving affection is not specific enough to us, that it might as well be showered upon any one at all. And perhaps in the abstract it could and should; but to find some nexus of actuality where the invisible potentials for genuine relation can connect in a spark of splendor is truly too great to give up on altogether. The challenge, really, is to try to learn what we can through the pain of an open existence that we may better tune and temper our souls to the multi-dimensional music subtly discernable amid the cacophony of mutual living. It is in this, my dear, where you grace me most profoundly with a dance of celestial rhapsody, time after time until all time is condensed in one sweet drop of joy.

Let's make this the most splendid lifetime ever!


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