I was never very good with healthy relationships. Of course, I didn't know that. I thought I had it all covered - that hanging out and really never connecting with anyone was "normal," because I'd never really connected.

I figured it out.

I found out that I didn't just want people to smoke weed with. I didn't just want candy-raver friends or trip buddies. I figured out that I didn't want drunk friends or, worst of all, "you'll work until I find something better" friends.

I certainly didn't want to be those kind of friends.

I started, slowly, to try to figure out what the hell a healthy relationship is. I'm still working on that part of it, but I think I might be getting some of this stuff down.

I still have trouble connecting. But, it seems that I sometimes, somehow, manage to find people with whom I can form a real relationship, whether that be friendship, a romantic entanglement, or even simply a good aquaintance. Those people, I've noticed, also tend to be either sending themselves spiraling to their own destruction or allowing that spiral to claim them.

I need you people, all of you who I've had any sort of real connection with, to live. Because I can't imagine living in a world without you.

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