Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "If I can keep just one person from wasting their money on this, I'll die happy."

• You can tell a lot about a person from their e-mail address
• Don't run from snipers, you'll just die tired
• I'll keep calligraphy (you can have the flying spaghetti monster)
• One must trust in the law, and keep within the heart the knowledge that the law of this world is the same right and just law that governed us when we were merely stars.
• If I can stop one heart from breaking
• To withhold forgiveness from a person is like drinking poison and waiting for them to die.
• I just submit to one or two days of horror for going out and playing at being a normal functioning person
• I can see three corners from this corner. Two's a perfect number. But one?
• You can learn a lot about someone from the way they die
• i just keep waiting for the day when i'll see you again
• Lord I Just Can't Keep from Crying
• It takes two people to make you and one person to die. That is how the world is going to end.
• To the world you're just one person
• two people can keep a secret if one of them is dead
• I hope they kill me while I'm standing here, so I can die happy.
• If you press your ear to the wrist of the world you can hear every heartbeat from the beginning of time
• They protect us from danger by harming us before we can harm ourselves
• I hold you where no one else can go
• I knew that. My brain just chose to withhold that information from me.
• Just some more jokes from the Necronomicon
• What can we expect from the aliens?
• What the FBI Can Do With Their Little
• One letter can make all the difference
• they'd watch you die to save their lives
• How to make money from the internet
• Person from Porlock
• Old soldiers never die. Young ones do.
• when you're done, you can let her die if that's what you want. Or you can wake her.
• How far can we get on one tank of fuel
• Dry bones can harm no one
• Can we all just get along?
• One of the most irritating things that can happen when talking
• Collecting cardboard boxes, so one day, you can build a castle
• Removed from humanity, I realized I was just another distraction
• Scene from the movie I'll never write
• It is difficult to get the news from poems, yet men die miserably every day for lack of what is found there
• Which God was cooler, the one from the Old Testament or the one from the New Testament?
• A love poem scrawled from one stranger to another
• Keeping a cake from sticking to the pan
• The Ones Who Walk Away From Salemo
• Until I die there will be sounds. And they will continue following my death. One need not fear about the future of music.
• One man can make a difference
• I can think of worse things than to die like a dog
• from now on, I can bring my stick in the house; from now on, I can poke my stick at the wall
• I can never be sure if it was real or just another illusion
• Can I get MTV from kissing?
• They leap just because they can, out of joy
• happy as a clam or a lark or as happy as Pacino can be
• Yeah I can love my fellow man; but I'm damned if I'll love yours.
• It is only in marriage with the world that our ideals can bear fruit: divorced from it, they remain barren.
• we can learn a lot from plants
• Years from now I can tell the story of it
• Things you can tell just by looking at him
• Why do we hurt when our loved ones die?
• Where does the money come from?
• I'll give up printf() when you pry my cold dead fingers from it
• The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas
• Part One: We Learn from Each Other
• Moving a SharePoint portal from one drive to another
• Final Comments from Judge Parker to Wen Ho Lee, part one
• As seen mouthed through one half inch of safety glass as the bus pulled away from the terminal and left a westward wafting cloud of exhaust
• It takes the profit from 22 towels to pay for one package of copier paper
• Happy Birthday From Planet Motherfucker
• Tendency to shift blame keeps schools from improving
• Any sufficiently nice person is indistinguishable from someone who likes you
• Persistently ill, and still does not die.
• Can you hear me Maggie Thatcher? Your boys took one hell of a beating
• No one can know what you want unless you tell them
• The city. So many lights you can actually pretend one of them's shining on you.
• If I can just get Mike to the 24-hour Whipper-Snapper, I will be okay.
• Just because you can make music doesn't mean that you should
• I tiptoe back into myself so I can run from what I was
• How can one ever go home? Bangkok, Tokyo, Chicago, then Cleveland
• old books can tell more than one story
• Can You Keep A Secret?
• Money can't buy happiness but the lack of it can cause a lot of misery
• You can have great armfuls of just such roses as these.
• No one can be unhappy with a fresh box of crayons
• The words no one can find
• we have learned all that we can from anal probing
• The video cuts out here; nothing more can be determined from the tape.
• Be nice to smokers: any cigarette can be their last
• i've never wanted to die, only things i can never have
• 2D people can only see the inside of their head.
• And if terrorists wanted to communicate secretly, mightn't they just do so by collaborating on a 'draft' here at e2? Can the NSA check on our drafts? Who knows? Inquiring minds want to know, Jay!
• all we can do is keep moving forward
• I'm not going to simplify things just so they can fit inside your mind. You don't deserve that.
• Don't try to make the moment last. You can ruin it that way. Just learn to savor it and, when the time comes, learn how to let it go.
• We Can all Die Like This
• from where I stand I can see they have already won
• How a 25-year-old can contract diaper rash in one fun night
• We live for the one, we die for the one
• The First Time I Saw a Person Die
• It's okay. The puppy just DIES and that's the end of the movie.
• Why Won't Jesse Helms Just Hurry Up and Die?
• Happy Labor Day from Insomnia Boy
• Wandering about with keys dangling from an oversized shoelace around your neck
• On a scale from one to...
• How many ways can you say "It's stuff made from soy"?
• Telling real pearls from fake ones
• What is an "online pet" and can I actually raise one?
• just because it burns doesn't mean you're gonna die
• The boss' machine is always the one to die first.
• Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should
• Keep Napster and other peer-to-peer apps from eating your school's bandwidth
• Where the stadium money came from
• Keep guns away from drunks
• How to keep your discman from beeping
• People just expect things from me
• Every strong wind one leans into and smiles should bring back a lost toy from childhood
• Open letter from Saddam Hussein to the American peoples and the western peoples and their gov'ts
• Flushing out your enemies from their lair with bad rock music
• One should expect as much from a machine
• Things you can tell just by looking at her
• She plugs her tears in the way you'd keep a dam from breaking
• Just to see where the bullets come from
• No one can be totally logical
• Where do dogs get their Vitamin C from, when they don't eat fruits?
• Women you know you should just walk away from
• You can learn a lot about a person by how they act at an Airport
• Can the Koran from Eternity be?
• How to tell whether a figure can be drawn in one stroke
• I Can Hear the Heart Beating As One
• How can I talk about love when the bacon is burned and the house is an absolute mess and the children are screaming their heads off and I'm going to miss my bus?
• A toad can die of light!
• Ski piss
• If you can catch me, you can keep me
• All the Pain Money Can Buy
• The Library Book
• Opening a coke can with one hand
• How can someone worship a dead naked man nailed to a cross as their god?
• I can see the tracing blue of your just beneath the surface
• I can see your house from here
• Just because you should do something doesn't mean you can
• You make a light in the world and you hope someone can still look up from the dust for long enough to see it
• It is not instruction, but provocation, that I can receive from another soul.
• You can become as successful as the most successful person ever
• They don't realize they're talking about death but I can hear it behind their voices
• You can only watch as his heart is coaxed from his chest to his sleeve
• One nuclear bomb can ruin your whole day
• Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel a strong compulsion to get up from the table
• Seriously, I can't speak French, so can we just skip to the love-making part?
• if you haven't learned your lesson from reading this, you can only learn it the hard way
• You can never get away from yourself
• Just because I'm black doesn't mean I can rap
• I recall the last 20 years as succinctly as I can in one node: bear with me
• Any function can be represented as the sum of an even function and an odd one
• I can cast Zulthon's Glowing Rings, but I cannot cast you from my heart
• No One Can Stop the Bobsled
• Invest only money you can afford to lose.
• the morning snowdrops fall like dew in the sunlight and fill my heart with their icy cold and all i can think about is you
• Religion doesn't exist just so that people can be told what to think
• we can all just be around other people
• I'll punch you as hard as you can cry.
• Some days are magic, and I can do anything. The other days, I just have to wait, and hope it comes back.
• If I can ruin it for you in one sentence, you've got a fragile perspective.
• only by consuming pieces of one another can beings such as we exist
• How long can any one heart be so confused?
• Can I hear the echo from the days of '39?
• Can a woman be sexist? Can a black person be racist?
• can you show me where this came from?
• as long as i can feel the beat, as long as i keep dancing
• Condensed life in a can, like the ones you buy at grocery stores
• you can't you can never be sure. you die without knowing.
• The smell of kittens that have been careless; the flowers and the beer cans emerging from the snow.
• don't just wait for it, but you can only wait for it
• In space, no one can hear you scream
• try to memorize this moment so that years from now I can tell the story of it
• i'll find a place to rest my spirit if i can
• if i can just find the perfect way to say it
• they can drop bombs and no one will get hurt
• No one can be in two places at once
• Money can buy happiness
• Some people can just hold onto the things that really matter to them
• Old men never die, they just spout poetry
• I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die
• You are just an animal and you will die
• Tell me how you want to die, and I'll tell you who you are
• Of all the ways a heart can ache you are my favorite one
• Shit, why am I the only one here who can perform the Heimlich maneuver?

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