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2012-01-14 01:46 UTC

Happy New Year 2012 / MMXII!

I know it's been a while since I did any day logs hey, but here I am. On 2011-12-08, I booked the flights for my upcoming trip to Iceland and The Netherlands! It was cheap for a return, but as we all know, I probably could've got a better price at some point. I'll be leaving JFK airport in Queens, New York City on 2012-01-20 then spending 3 nights in Reykjavik before moving on to Amsterdam.

So I have just about everything ready, including print-outs of reservations, receipts, the plane ticket, a few books on the places I'm going, as well as several phones (I'm a phone junkie) for my various uses when abroad.

I have been thinking of the woman I described before in a prior day log about the same as before, which I wish I could just easily get over. Might there be a light at the end of the tunnel?

Recently, I was at a video game festival/convention called MAGFest X (the 10th edition). It was my 5th consecutive year attending. It's held annually in the DC area on the first weekend of the year (Thursday to Sunday). I enjoy the classic games one can play there and music that is performed. This time a friend of mine, who is also into games, decided to go and he intends on attending next year. He cosplayed as Batman and got lots of photo ops. During my time there, I have managed to get 200 lines in Tetris on the NES for the first time since the time I got 202 way back on 2001-05-24. I did a personal best score of 316841 points. We also managed to get the winning shot in on the buzzer during a round of NBA Jam, arcade version. I never played this particular game before (not into sport games very much).

This is a paragraph from a discussion with my friend France, who is dealing with MS. "just wanted to let you know that I've been thinking about our little chat at the market the other day. I think part of the reason I'm much more relaxed than I used to be and cheerful and all that is that I have the freedom that comes with being told that there is nothing else the medical profession can do for you. No one is telling me that if I fight hard enough and I think positively enough, I will get better. Does that make sense?"

I just had a PET scan last week.   The results from it show that cancer is still on the increase, having decided add my liver as a place to hang out.  Little boogers.

I have now had seven rounds of chemotherapy.  Sometimes I feel like a miracle of science, that I can still walk upright.

So we are NOT yet at the point that France describes, above, but we are in the limbo of indecision.   Next week we will be seeing my doc, and making a decision about whether to continue treatment, or go into hospice care.   Chemo comes with feeling like shit most of the time, and each time is less effective.  New meds would be in the 20-30% response range.  Hospice comes with yummy mind-altering painkillers.

If you want more detail at this point, let me know.  

I miss all of you.

Wheelbarrows full of love,


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