Leftover pizza is by far, the most divine cuisine delight that exists. On a scale of one to ten, I'd give it an awesome. Fresh lobster? Pah! 5-star restaurants? Nonsense! Mom's cooking? Nowhere close. I'm fairly certain that you (like I was once) are wondering how to make something so incredible. Hold on, don't leave yet. No culinary training is required. All you need is the following:

  • Leftover Pizza. It doesn't matter where the pizza comes from, as long as it has been chilled in the fridge overnight. This is important.
  • At least one microwave. More is fine, but essentially useless for this recipe. Must be previously used.

I find that a good pizza can handle about 45 seconds of radiation. The process of reheating the pizza in the microwave causes the taste particles present in the long forgotten food remains lining the inner of the machine to boil off. They merge, mingle, and otherwise associate with the pizza's taste molecules. Microwave radiation acts as a sort of glue, intertwining the two for eternity. The heat created from the friction of the water and taste molecules results in some funky smells. This is desired, as the smells will attach to the inside of the microwave, further amplifying future leftover pizza experiences.


  • My pizza is still cold after nuking it.
    • Put it back in there for longer.
  • It smells burnt.
    • You put it in for far too long.
  • It isn't burnt, but is incredibly hot.
    • You didn't use leftover pizza, did you? Using fresh pizza that is already hot only makes it hotter. It must be cooled down overnight. The cooling shrinks the pizza, opening up receptacles for the taste particles to attach.
  • It tastes incredible! How ever can I thank you?
    • Its my job, citizen. No thanks needed.

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