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Mr. Saturn (Dosei-san in Japanese) is the name of a race of peculiar creatures in the quirky pseudo-modern RPG, Earthbound. Physically, they are about two feet tall and a foot wide. Mr. Saturns are composed entirely of a light brown, ovalur body, with a pair of beady eyes, a few whiskers (but no mouth), a single strand of hair with a red bow tie, a pair of rounded feet, and a nose the size of half their body attached to it. They are childish in manner, but highly intelligent.

If it weren't for their flat out bizarreness, they might even be considered cuddly.

Every Mr. Saturn is named Mr. Saturn and has no trouble distinguishing which Mr. Saturn is which. There are no Ms. or Mrs. Saturns. How they reproduce isn't known. There is, however, a Dr. Saturn. He is the only Mr. Saturn that isn't addressed as Mr. Saturn. They exist only in a small secluded basin called Saturn Valley, hidden behind a waterfall near the town of Threed. Their houses look like they came out of The Jetsons: Bright yellow siding, an orange cone-shaded roof (peaking with a red bow tie on a singular antenna), a metal ring surrounding the roof, and a single front door with a circular glass window. They look somewhere in between regular houses and UFOs.

Probably among the highest points in utter strangeness for all video games everywhere would have to be the dialogue and grammar used by Mr. Saturns, particularly the font. Instead of a smooth font, such as the type you are reading and the type feature throughout the rest of Earthbound, Mr. Saturns speak in a hand scripted, childish scrawl. It is incredibly weird, yet comforting in its carefreeness. The Mr. Saturns' goofy text adds to their bizarre way of talking. For example: "Hi hi hi. You come buying?" for a shop keeper's greeting, "Boing!" for an interjection, or "Do you want slumber" as an offer to sleep. If you combined the speaking patterns Jeff K. and Yoda, then threw in a pinch of Engrish, then had it written by an artistic two year old Mr. Saturn's speech could quite possibly be the result.

Mr. Saturn also plays a role in Super Smash Bros. Melee as a throwable object. He just kind of putters around back and forth while looking cuddly and bizarre until someone picks him up and tosses him at another player, in which case he becomes a deadly projectile.


Sources: Nintendo: Earthbound Player's Guide. Playing the game.

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