Nathan, this is unacceptable
I've come home from days away and find my house in ruin. Nathan, this is unacceptable. The sun has been out for three days now and there's still snow in the corners of my world. Nathan, this is unacceptable. Doogie Howser is still in syndication. Baywatch follows Northern Exposure. I am aware of daytime tv schedules. Nathan, this is unacceptable. Everytime I call your answering machine picks up and while I always enjoy the messages I hate to leave them. I do not know what to do sometimes. Nathan, this is unacceptable. Two of my best friends are dying and I think they might know and somehow that's the worst part. Nathan, this is unacceptable. The wallpaper around the ceiling of my bathroom is peeling and makes strange noises during the night. Nathan, this is unacceptable. Tracey is getting married to a twinkie named nick and she hasn't even called me yet. The multi-vitamin I take every morning only has 2% of the rda of potassium and I'm out of bananas, will I get sick? Nathan, this is unacceptable. My roommate is a picture of lethargy and is slowly sitting his way into history. Jeff is going to Ireland and Sara is going to Africa and Scott is in Ann Arbor and Sally is in Boston and I am here with you and you are here with Rachel and Sunday is only three days away, three shifts away and sometimes I do think of my days in terms of shifts and that's a poor man's thinking. Nathan, this is unacceptable. My hands are drying out and I think I may be dying. My teeth hurt, sometimes I can't see if it's too dark. Nathan, this is unacceptable. I can only read the first twenty pages of any given book and I'm sure the good parts are always at the end. If I open the book backwards all the letters are upside-down and I get a headache. Nathan, this is unacceptable. My favorite movie of all time has been moved to the 99 cent rack at the video store, nobody even rents it for the naked parts anymore. Nathan, this is unacceptable. It's snowing again and it's raining but it's too hot to stay out for very long and the hail stings my eyes when the wind picks up but it doesn't blow the fog away and I can barely drive for all the ice. Nathan, this is unacceptable. I tried to call her five times today but nobody answers except for her sister and I don't think she's really writing down the number I give her. Nathan, this is unacceptable. I don't feel good. Nathan, this is unacceptable. I'll never get the mint-tea stains out of the carpet or the good chairs and how will I tell them that I didn't even spill it - I spilled the orange juice. Nathan, this is unacceptable. My boss at work continually writes silly little notes to all of us and makes me feel like a moron. I am not a moron. Nathan, this is unacceptable. I'm just not as smart as I think I am. Nathan, this is unacceptable. I wrote poems on the refrigerator in Jeff's apartment but stopped when I ran out of words. I came home to write poems and found myself with an unlimited number of words but couldn't write a thing. Nathan, this is unacceptable. Sally tried to call her sister the other day and got an answering machine. can you believe that? A machine! What next? Nathan, this is unacceptable. I have dirty dishes in my head and in my sink. I thought of an excellent metaphor this morning and put it in my pocket to write down later but my pocket has a hole in the bottom and I can't find it anywhere.
Nathan, this is unacceptable.
Nathan, this is unacceptable.
Nathan, this is unacceptable.
That's what.