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I always realize it after I already did it.

The thing is a lot of noders use Everything2 as a diary, this includes my self.
When you tell people something, they judge you, give you their opinion, or get mad or hurt.

So I started to write things on E2 cause no one except one person here knew me.

Problem... I told so many people how great E2 is that I can't write a node without hearing about it later, or pissing somone off.

Perfect example, I wrote a couple of nodes of sexual nature, my best friend's little sister who is 14 read them. In fact, she is a noder now, which is cool, but I still don't want to give someone younger then me ideas about this kind of stuff.

I can't write about my romantic life at all cause as soon as I start dating somone, I introduce them to E2, so if I am interested in somone else they immediately know. What they might not realize is that a lot of it may just be my thoughts and elaborate analysis of events rather then the truth, but it is still close enough to the truth to hurt people

And when a friend pissed me off in the past, I could get it out of my system by noding about it. The problem is most of my friends, ex boyfriends, my boss, and friend's siblings read my nodes now.

I am not too terribly upset, but I just realized it has crippled my noding ability because every time I think of a great node, I have to watch really carefully what I say and who I mention in it.

I got very attached and involved with E2, so I think the problem is most people want to share their hobbies with those close to them, that's why twentysomething people read my stuff now.

But sometimes I really wish I kept E2, and my nickname a secret.

Possibly we will reach the stage where it becomes important to have an internet pseudo-pseudonym. Everyone knows who nailbunny, stand/alone/bitch and jessicapierce are; there are many noders with whom I can put faces. But what if there are level one accounts out there, containing well-formulated writeups about drug deals gone wrong, things deeply regretted and shameful confessions; accounts which we do not associate with the 'established' noders? I'm sure there are.

Or we can step out and say: "Yeah, this is me. If you care to read it, be prepared to see a real person, a person with faults which I struggle to hide on a daily basis; be prepared to share my jealousy and hope, but most importantly, be prepared for honesty.

If secrecy is an essential part of your life, consider revising your attitude towards life, rather than patching it up by revising your noding habits.

If you're afraid of people not taking your E2 nodes for what they are, I'm tempted to say, it's their loss if they do. If your noder niece has a problem with finding out about your sexual life, it's her problem, not yours.

I restrain myself in writing here, too: for example, I won't easily write something that I know will hurt someone if they read it. But if you restrain your utterances, restrain all of them - a special policy for E2 is hypocritical.

I don't have a problem noding about whatever I want on everything. Some of my personal nodes on everything are based on my thoughts. Everyone has bad thoughts. Thoughts about killing people, thoughts about how you hate someone everyonce in a while, the lesbian theory, etc...

What my friends realize, and what I think everyone who surfs everything needs to realize is that these are my thoughts. I'm not the only person who has these thoughts. I'm sure Linus of Linux fame, my father, my mother, the president, probably even the Pope has had thoughts that they probably wouldn't want other people to know.

I just come out and say, "This is what's on my mind. This is my past." Everyone has stuff in the past that they aren't willing to admit. Everyone has questionable thoughts like mine. Most people are in denial. These thoughts/pasts do not reflect on how I act, how I am in public, or what my personality in general is. They are just some of the few fleeting thoughts in my mind that I thought might be interesting enough for someone else to read. I am not these fleeting thoughts, I am not this past, I am what my actions are right now. How I act now is what matters. You may read my thoughts and my past if you want to know a little more about me, but it's just that, a little part of me. Nothing more nothing less. You can't truely get to know someone by reading something they wrote months ago. You know other people by conversation and interactions with them. Judge them on that, not the thoughts that they admit they have, and everyone else also has, but won't admit.

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