Any
long,
pointless,
convoluted piece of
speech which serves no apparent purpose apart from
annoying and
confusing the listener.
Bonus points are awarded for mentioning the glory of
love, the horror of
war and the strength of the
human spirit. Particularly if the question was something really simple, like "what time is it?"
Named after Solid Snake, the hero of the PSX (and soon to be PC) game Metal Gear Solid. The game itself is extremely good, but for every ten seconds of gameplay, you get thirty minutes of Snake clenching his teeth and whinging about how war is stopping him from pulling.
Snakisms can be extremely useful for avoiding awakard social situations. For example:
"Hey Dave - your turn to buy the beer"
"Beer? There is no beer in war; only the cold sobering cry of your best buddy screaming as he bleeds to death. But even those screams can't stop me believing. Believing that some day, I will find peace, peace in tha arms of someone -"
"Alright, alright, I'll buy the bloody beer."
Addendum:
In MGS, Snakeisms aren't restricted to Snake. Any players who have witnessed the death of Grey Fox, for instance, will know this.
FOX : "Finally, before you, I can die"
(You push the launch-salvo-of-missiles-button)
SNAKE : "No, I can't do it!"
YOU : "Yes you bloody well can!"
FOX : "For years I was a shadow in a world of light, yearning -"
*KSHSH**CRASH* (This is the sound of a Playstation being furiously hurled through a window)