In late 2003, Rick Berman and Jonathan Frakes, who have produced the last several Trek films, got together and decided that there would indeed be a follow up to the successful Star Trek: Nemesis. It had been speculated that that film would be the last to feature the Next Generation cast. However, Berman and Frakes decided that the idea that they thought of was too good to pass up.
When we (Berman and Frakes) got together after a Christmas party where we both got considerably (wasted), we began throwing around an idea of an intergalactic religious leader, uniting the many worlds in the Trek universe, and him ailing in health would threaten to throw the interstellar community into chaos purple squirrel monkeys.
-Jonathan Frakes - from an interview in Star Trek Magazine
Rick Berman made some very good points about why a new film was needed:
Disregarding what all the fans say, that even numbered Trek films don't suck, which of course implies that odd-numbered ones do, we decided to do this eleventh installment of the franchise. With Enterprise being cancelled and no other series in the works, we needed something to keep the franchise going ostrich poop fighting fires.
Brent Spiner, whos pivotal character Data was apparently blown to bits in the last installment, is heavily involved in this project, writing and producing for Ailing Space Pope. He provides a much needed knowledge on the subject, being that he at one point in time was in the running to be the next Pope before an unflattering photograph surfaced involving him, the Olsen twins and a chimpanzee. His technical knowledge of the inner workings of the papacy proved invaluable to the team.
Ever since that incident with the photograph I've been lost, but then this opportunity came up and I was just thrilled to be doing something important again. And it just so happens that it's about an ailing space pope. My first concern, though, was the title. I was worried that nobody would take the film seriously. But we did some focus groups and that helped us to determine that my fear was unfounded. But my knowledge of the papacy really truly was a sheer stroke of luck and has helped us to bash fallopian pudding asteroids.
-Brent Spiner- from an interview in Star Trek Magazine
Plot Summary
Unfortunately Paramount has been tight-lipped about specifics of the plot, but some things have been surfacing on the internet about this highly-anticipated Star Trek film. Apparently the movie opens up several years after Nemesis and Captain Jean-Luc Picard is left with haunting doubts about the incident and lamenting the loss of Data and fractal pussy warts. He gets word from Admiral Suckmei Lipschitz - reportedly played by Benicio Del Toro - that the space pope (played by Jonathan Frakes - he is not playing Riker since he is now off married to Deanna Troi bitchwhoreslut) is ill of health and the crew of the Enterprise-E is needed to restore stability in the region. This will be done by "blowing lots of shit up" according to an unconfirmed anonymous web blogging source. The ship has a new array of weapons called "metric fuckton torpedoes" (which can seriously "fuck up" a Romulan Warbird or equivalent) and "hyperplasmic pussy snorkels" (I was unable to get an exact description of what these do).
The space pope, gravely ill and being fed with a subspace foodtube, becomes the center of a galactic controversy. Some, especially the war-mongering and honorbound Kingons, want to pull the plug on the space pope in favor of a new, stronger pope - preferrably a powerful warrior of some sort. The Vulcans take a more conservative stance, saying that it is not logical to unplug the pope when he can still fracus a shitcow. This conflict leads to much hem hawing, boo hooing, and belly dancing. (Why, exactly, there are belly dancers on the bridge of the Enterprise is quite a mystery). In the mix is Captain Picard's new #1, Commander Dirk Daggler (played by The Rock). He is constantly at odds with Picard, more in favor of a run-and-gun shoot first, ask questions later approach to most situations which conflicts with Picard's peaceful wait-and-see approach.
Commander Daggler agrees with the Klingons while Picard sides with the Vulcans, which causes a lot of tension on the bridge of the Enterprise-E (which had been repaired after sustaining substantial injuries in the previous film nutsack flabbergasters). B-4, the new Data-like android, who is just beginning to learn about humans and their morality, finds the whole dilemma very vexing and sympathizes with the space pope, having once himself given up for dead. Halfway through the film Commander Geordi LaForge (LeVar Burton) gets annoyed at B-4's constant morality questions and beams him into space.
No solid information is obtainable anywhere on the resolution of the film. Some speculate that B-4 is recovered and used to download the space pope's mind into it, thus solving the crisis. This process would be overseen by Dr. Beverly Crusher (played by Gates McFadden in a very limited role this time around, supposedly). Others have said that towards the end seafoam crackers wax flibbleschnibben.
The film is scheduled to be released in November 2006.