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Here in-lies a story of restlessness, the quest for a sound slumber, and a solution I fear is far too easy:

After exercising and washing up I was very tired and climbed into bed. My mind was active and refused to be quiet. I was thinking of everything that happened in my day, people in my past in present, obligations I needed to fulfill. My mind refused to be quiet. I could not compartmentalize.

I turned on the light and began to read. Reading always made me sleepy after a time. It worked. My brain became fatigued, but now it was fatigued with the same thousand thoughts in it as well. I became frustrated.

I turned on the television and watched an old re-run of SNL. I laughed quietly until the piano music began to play, turned off the television, and rolled over. The thousand thoughts returned like a noisy gang of horny alley cats.

I rolled onto my back and began to relax. I tried to meditate. I envisioned myself in a white room, devoid of all thoughts but still my thoughts betrayed me colored the walls. There was no peace to be found there.

I thought of sitting by the babbling brook of my childhood backyard. Trying still to think of nothing, old childhood memories I had not thought of in a decade returned instead. Meditation was not working, it seemed impossible. I was becoming more alert, more awake, and more frustrated still.

I did the only thing I could think of that I had not already done to try and relax and I brought myself to a quick orgasm. It was then I recognized what had happened: my mind was quiet.

Nothing remained but warmth and echos of feelings of serenity passing making for a deep relaxation. I rolled over and I slept soundly the night through.



The body is a magnificant instrument. Even when it does not asked to be played, in doing so it may play the sweetest song to soothe the savage beast.

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