The kind of thing mom says

You know, stuff your mother said to you when you were a kid. I have just jotted down a random a few.

• If you make a face, your face will freeze.
• swimming on a full stomach will give you cramps and you'll drown.
  New research has shown that this is not true. It's not wise to swim long-distance on a full stomach because you may become excessively tirred. But splashing around in a pool is harmless
• Noone will want to be your friend if you pick your nose.
  This was true way back then in third grade. But at this point I'd like to think you're beyond that.
• Proper english will impress the girls.
  (so will baggy jeans, the right t-shirt, or a terrific body).
• Don't wear white before Memorial Day.
• Don't wear white after Labor Day.
• Don't wear black to a wedding.
• Chew with your mouth closed.
• Don't talk with your mouth closed.
• Don't talk to strange men
  but mom, those are the interesting ones...
• Don't be a smartass.

--If all your friends jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you jump off too?
--Don't be fresh, young man.
--Stop embarassing me.
--Don't be late.
--You'll eat it and you'll like it.
--Germs don't cause colds, standing around outside without your jacket does.
--I don't like that friend of yours.
--Will adult chaperones be there?
--I'll leave the number of where we'll be staying just in case. Of course we trust you. We'll be checking in every hour.
--Of course you can drive my car...when you're thirty-five.

See: the kind of thing dad says