Personality Conflicts.The last thing an interviewer wants to hear is that you may not get along with other people at the office. In fact, what you want to do is to show the interviewer that the opposite is true. Point to items in your resume (even community service or volunteer work) that show you get along well with people and that you are not difficult.

School Plans. Never discuss future school plans with a potential employer. Hiring you costs lots of money and the last thing an interviewer wants to worry about is whether you will leave in a year to get your MBA. If asked about your education plans, say that you would like to take advantage of whatever training and education programs the company has to offer.

Family Problems. There are lots of places to discuss family problems, but an interview isn't one of them. Never provide even a hint that something may be wrong in your family life because recruiters will be afraid that it may affect your performance on the job. Even an innocent statement like "My husband and I are separated" may raise doubts in a interviewer's mind about whether your full attention will be on the job.

Company Information You Should Know. Interviewers will often ask whether you have any questions about the company. In part, they are testing whether you have done your homework on the company. Don't squander the opportunity by asking for information you could have found out at the library. Show them you have done your homework by asking about recent developments that have affected the company in a positive way.

Don't Mention Your Faults. Another question that interviewers frequently ask is whether the job-seeker could indicate their "two or three greatest faults." The important thing here is to remember that the interview isn't the place YOU want to be discussing your weaknesses. It's your only opportunity to sell the company on the fact that you would be an excellent employee. Say that you are a workaholic, a perfectionist or that you spend too much time at the office.

Don't Ask About Money. The interview is also not the place to raise questions about how much you expect to be paid. Leave this discussion until after the company makes you an offer. (Even then, raise it only after other issues are settled.) If you are asked how much you expect to earn, indicate a range of salaries and never an exact number.

When Could You Start? Immediately. Recruiters never want to hear that you have anything more important to do than the job they may offer you. Even if you have some arrangements that need to be worked out with your current employer, say that you will start right away. Once you get the offer, you can negotiate the details of your starting date from a much stronger position.

NOTE:As I have never had a job, am a bum, and masturbate to donate sperm for a living, please disregard my above rambling. Thank you. :o)

Additional things not to say during an interview:

  1. "Hell yes, I'm a great programmer. Where's your VCR?"

  2. "Do you have an OC-3 connection to the Internet? I have a big list of MP3s that I have to download from Napster."

  3. "I'd make a great SysAdmin. I 0Wn3D your Web Server three times this week."

  4. "Yes, I have a degree... it's a first-degree yellowbelt in Karate. Why do you ask, is this a dangerous office to work in?"

  5. "Why do you want me to take off my NRA Forever hat before I go into my interview, Mom?"

  6. "I know I don't look like my over-21 driver's license picture. I... ummmm... caught that same disease as Michael Jackson and now I'm pale."

  7. "Do I need to take a drug test? I don't think they've flushed out of my system since yesterday."

  8. "Why are you naked and wearing a strap-on, Ms. Interviewer?"

  9. "Yes, you can talk to my last supervisor, but if she says anything about theft or sexual harrassment, stop talking to her."

  10. "The FBI is going to do a background check? Will they be able to find out about my drug smuggling days?"

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