Many a V-Day in the past have I spent alone, so I have come up with many the activity to pass the time, I just thought I would pass on a few of my favorites for those less fortunate than myself, unless of course you enjoy sitting in your bedroom weeping into a box of chocolates (probably the one you bought for an intended sweetie who has since snubbed you..)

1. Enjoy a nice day outside. The fresh air will do you good, and as you walk around you'll notice all the happy couples, and the flower carts on every corner, this will further your belief that "all the good ones are taken" and/or "I don't have a chance in hell" and it's always nice to be proven right. This should bring your despair level to a peak. At times you may be tempted to walk up to one of these happy couples and slap one of them silly (usually it's the one speaking "baby talk" to their partner loud enough that it can be heard by passers-by), please feel free to do this, as it will make you feel better, as an added bonus, the endorphine/adenaline rush you get after running away at high speeds from the person you have assaulted will make you feel on top of the world

2. Go to the gym, it should be near empty as most others will be getting a work-out of a different sort. You will have free reign of the machines, and the next day you will be in so much pain that you will be spared from having see all of those attractive people who will be there trying to work off the 3 ounces they gaines from eating one too many butter-creme.

3. Hop on the internet, log into any IRC channel you see fit (the ones with "flirt" or "Love" in the names are best for the following purpose), after you have become nauseated with the flood of ASCII roses, stupid pop-ups and enough cute /action commands, type in a good twelve lines about how stupid these people are and how they should go out and find a real person to date, tell them that the only reason you are these is that you are stuck at work (or some other viable excuse). This need not be true, but it will make you feel good because at least you're not them.

4. Buy cinnamon hearts (those little red ones that are so prevelant around this time of year), and I mean a lot of them. cinnamon hearts have a uniqe property that when they become damp they will stick to anything with a force rivaling super glue (it is rumored that cinnimon hearts were developed with the intention of creating a new surgical adhesive). Take your time in a public park covering an entire statue (bench or other such park fixture) completely in cinnamon hearts. If anyone stops you tell them it's in the name of love, and begin pelting them with the aforementiond candies. This should kill a few hours, and the resulting red-sticky residue will be around for months as rain does it's lovely work.

5. Chocolate is cheap around V-day, this is a great opportunity to test many of the scientific theories about chocolate. Buy as much as you can, and begin eating around 8 AM, don't stop till well in the afternoon. After you come down from the combination sugar/caffeine rush (or get back from the stomach pumping station at your local hospital) publish your results on the internet, claim loudly that chocolate will never be better than sex, and complain about how you had to waste such a precious holiday to prove such a point.

6. Buy an old set of army fatigues and the semi-automatic rifle of your choice, (for extra fun, add a bayonet) and go down to a local german resturaunt (Gustav's comes to mind, but that's only because of the ads I have to see every time I sit down in the local movie theatre). If you can, gather some friends to go with you. Perform a strategic assault on the resturaunt, and take the staff hostage, inform the customers that they have been freed and can go (trust me, it's german food, most will be appreciative), take the owners and staff...oh wait, this should be in the "Fun things to do on VE-Day,


So, you're single and the monstrous orgy of red and pink hearts and all things fluffy is drawing near. Panic starts attacking you a month before - you can hear its voice from everywhere: "It's going to be the happy happy happy day of St. Valentine, on which no-one should be single," the voices say. "It's such a shame not to have that special someone on the fourteenth day of February," they say. But alas, you know that, against all the odds and despite da desperate attempts to get a date, you're going to be - *gasp* - single on that very day.

Despair creeps in, gloomy thoughts swirl in your head; you feel worthless, maybe even contemplating sui-, homi- or some other form of -cide.
But fear not - it's

Singles Awareness March1

to the rescue! The march aims at pointing out the pointlessness of the V-Day, providing the singles with something meaning(full|less) to do, spreading the FUD, and generally having fun. Besides, who knows - maybe you might meet somebody during the march, be it a participant or a passer-by.

What you will need

  • Being single. That's pretty self-explanatory.
  • Several like-minded people. Let's face it: doing a one-person march might hold some value for the participant, but is likely to go unnoticed.
  • Signs, banners, leaflets, what-have-you - to show and/or distribute to passers-by with the intent of raising the public awareness of the singles' plight.
As far as the messages go, anything does; from problematizing the event itself - "Say NO to Valentine's Day," "We want a Singles' day" - to simply declarative "I'm single" to blatant self-advertising - "Do you want me?" "I'm single and seeking - are you too?"

Hopefully, even if this doesn't help you hook up with somebody, and while it may not help to get your thoughts off the fact that you are single, it will help you take a positive attitude on your singleness. Wait, exactly whom am I kidding?

A Real-Life Example

This year, the march shall take place in Prague, Czech Republic. Starting from the horse statue at Wenceslas Square at 6:30 PM, it shall continue through downtown Prague for as long as the participants feel like it. It won't be an evening-news scale event: some 10-odd people, maybe 20 at most, will march - but we'll be going for quality, not quantity ;o) Updates to this w/u will follow as soon as I can make them.

Although I'm aware that Prague doesn't really have a strong e2 userbase, should you be around at the time, you would be welcome to participate in the march. The only condition (which has been settled after a lengthy and very heated debate) is: no couples are permitted to march, despite them sympathizing with our plight. The motto of the action is, after all:
The couples may seek tenderness in laying down, but we shall seek it in the snow.2

The Prague branch of the march (as I hope this idea might spread to other places - a distributed march!) is organized by Desir, which is a flash-mob/city game group. Their pages reside at


Altogether some 12 people showed up for the march, all with signs and/or balloons. The texts ranged from declarative ("No one is single today - except for us") through hopeful ("I'm single...are you?") to outright aggressive ("Valentine's Day stinks!"). We fooled around the city for about two hours and fun was had by all. Although it was quite enjoyable, I sincerely hope that I won't be eligible for next year's Singles March ;-).

1 Prohibited where void.
2 It actually rhymes, is moderately funny, and makes sense in the original.

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