UncleM

manna from node heaven

Idiot's Guide to Mulholland Drive (idea)

Rep -8

Out of work actor Diane Selwyn goes to sleep, has a dream, wakes up, wanks, and shoots herself.
Somewhere in between waking up and wanking, a neighbour/ex-lover drops in to pick up a box of belongings.

People often don't get the movie because in it's somewhat confusing opening (especially if you miss the shot of the red pillow) the dream pretends to be the real story. In the dream, she is a happy and enthusiastic person (but still an out of work actor) and her name is Betty. There's also a beautiful brunette called Rita who has amnesia and looks a bit like an idealised version of the neighbour, a little blue box, a key, a lampshade and a lot of other imagery. She foresees her own death. Lynch's customary red drapes are in there somewhere...

groupware (thing)

Rep 11

Software that claims to facilitate team collaboration.

Generally a groupware provider will offer a bunch of different products such as "email", calendars, bulletin boards, "file sharing" facilities, and "online meetings" - bundled together and branded.

Its main benefit to a company is that, if used extensively and correctly over a period of time, it evolves into a set of documentation grouped by team and/or project, which in turn provides some value to senior management in terms of decision support.

However, in order to realise this value the company would have to be pretty good at collaborating in the first place. More frequently, it devolves into a hodge podge of unrelated information that is collated unintuitively and quite useless... Not much really, considering the $XX,000 you'll pay every year until you die because as an added bonus, groupware is designed to create the illusion that it's more difficult and expensive to get rid of than keep.

pissy wissy (poetry)

Rep -38

Should be in bed but still
pissy wissy

fracking about on the ned all
pissy wissy

forget about all my life things ssy

sshhiiyy

faaa........] dead

Dimview says: I thought it was pretty funny in some odd sleep deprived way.
ascorbic says: PiracyQuest or no PiracyQuest, why did you feel the need to post this pile of crap?

How to drink tequila without lemons (how-to)

Rep -6

1. Be drunk already. That shouldn't be hard for most for most of us...

2. Be nerdy, and not very good at socialising. That, um, shouldn't be...

3. Have a reason to change yourself radically. You can get creative here. Seriously, you don't even stick to normal societal limits, or anything. Just freethink. You don't even have to be unhappy, but it helps. The boring reasons could be: a girl; a boy; being worried about the dirty dishes; caring whether it's sex or wanking that gets you to sleep; realising that you're a complete tosser; a phone call from God... Basically, whatever gets you motivated.

4. Have no lemons.

5. Be a masochist.

6. Don't even talk to me about limes - they are just lemons, but greener.

7. Enjoy

writing about writing (by other, more venerable noders)