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These are retarded labels put on the back of everything, to avoid getting a humungous lawsuit. They made a huge appearance over the last few years, after some dork spilled coffee on her lap.

After that, companies rushed to put warning labels on their products, so if a 3 year old died, it wasn't their fault.

Of course, the parent would have to stuff the product down their kid's throat to kill them, but the companies had to be careful. The answer: Warning Labels.

Your average warning label looked like this:
WARNING: Choking hazard. Should not be used by children under 3. Do not put over your head. Do not point at people or animals. Do not feed to your cat. Don't even think about spilling this on your lap, or any other body part. May cause birth complications. Don't smack anyone upside the head with this. Don't sue us.

As you can see, companies had to take into account every possibility that could get them sued. So many products had warning labels 3 pages long. Yet people still found ways to sue them.

The residual paranoia resulted in warnings that were thousands of words long. The average shopper hated this, and sued them for emotional damage. There was no safe ground here.

Now, warning labels are long enough to keep from being sued by anyone with an IQ of more than 64. In other words, the average person still sued them on a daily basis. Why don't you?

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