I pick
Heather up in my Mom's car.
Saturday night, 16 and bored, nowhere to go. Well, I have the car, so here we are.
We drive down dark roads,
the radio playing louder than our thoughts.
Trash school a little, talk about becoming high school dropouts. She wants better grades. I'm at the stage where
I'd trade the grades for no stress. I'll quit
as soon as I finish this year, I tell her. She talks about finding another school where she'd feel she could move on easily.
In truth, I don't understand why she gets so
antsy, switching classes every few months, and she
has no clue why I feel so pressured to
perform.
It's 1:00 am, and we pull up outside
Michelle's house. Throw rocks at the light in
her window until she comes out in her P.J's. We
talk of leaving town, driving away. Alternately slipping
into our private realities. Of the three of us, Michelle
is the only one who seems somewhat happy. She talks
to us, and we listen, respond, think:
This life
is going to kill me, if her passive acceptance doesn't get to me first.
I talk of seeing the world:
Italy, Greece, France. India, Thailand, Australia.
Heather talks of moving out of her parents' house.
Michelle just wants to finish school, find a job,
settle down.
3:00 a.m. on a Saturday night and
we're 16. Dreaming of elsewhere.