Last night i had a party it was supposed to just be a few of my friends but you know how it goes: more and more people they bring friends etc. etc. Things were ok, there were too many people, but everyone was being fairly respectful, (read: my house wasn't too trashed) and it was very quiet from the outside.

Around 12 o'clock things started to get out of hand. People were being loud and spilling things and i got pissed flipped out and told everyone to leave because there were way too many people there.

To quote DancinFool: "when i left your house i was so in disgust of what i saw...friends violating other friends, drugs being used and abused in the kitchen with your cookwear, disrespect for the house, people falling over, i'm so sorry that I had to be a part of that. i felt really really bad for you, and angry for you. i hope nothing unfixable happened."

The house started to empty out and it was better. I started to calm down and by 1:30 only me and Cow Of Doom and one other person were left. Me and Cow of Doom started to clean up and when i was almost done i noticed one piece of paper on the table. i walked over and looked at it and it was a recipe for apple crisp.

That was all that was left behind, and i kept that recipe as a reminder never to have a party again.

This is the entire content of a Microsoft Word document I found on my computer the day after a drunken housewarming orgy. I have attempted to keep the original formatting.

I reccomend the last couple paragraphs before "THIS IS ALSO IMPORTANT" - that stuff about jesus nearly caused a bladder containment breach.

I like doodie, it is good, yay. This keyboard is wicked weird. Oh man. My ass yeah, hmm, dog. Lalalalalala. Music is good for me. Yes. I'm think I'm sleepy. Booty is pirates treasure. Cookies. Ha. Blue. Haha. My house is here. Wagner likes house and not team building because it is six hours. Every time I go out I get crazy high, boo. I'm an elf, yay. Eat my cookies. Where? What time is input2. Home. Nip noo. Yarble is hutzpah. I think that wanton is me. Boom boom boom. Wizater bed. Wriziting is wizicked fizun. Oh jizyah. Moomoo's are for the unfortunate. Random thoughts are good for fro. Wobly H. Hahaha.




The question is will this make sense tomorrow. for drunk and high moments are hard to interpret. also it is difficult for high logic to make sense to the drunk. they are on different planes so to tell a drunk one about a high experience may make no sense despite the fact that both are impared. and to the sober.. PHEW!! but it is these moments that are most amusing. you go and record them down, whether it is in written ramblings or on video or audio, when you watch them when you have sobered up it is funny, yet you look at the stuff you did and you're like "did i really do that??" It is also these moments you hope your children never see of you. for how can you be a good parent when your children see you all fucked up and making no sense. although it is definitely a bonding moment when both you and your parents are fucked up with you. weird, but kinda cool. it happens, ya know?

FUXO is a high-quality word.


DRUNK LOGIC IN EFFECT: there should be free ability for ye-o-drunk-ones to be able to free their minds and laugh about the next day. Keep logs or some shit... save em and laugh. That is all.


welcome one welconme all, i umm

yeah, so like have a good time and stuff, girls who recognize mega man have skizills

i'm kinda tiziered but it's cool this keyuboard is crazy weird i can't really type stuff cause i'm 6talking and stoofff

and i'm not sure what im writting

they got'

s tha mad phiz att refrig erator mig aznettes and shizzz itt

and they say things about me and soy but they are all cercomstanciala

i think that may ey all i have to say, that ey was so pussed to be a by i think any any way

so yyead peace out and stuff

hope you have a pleasant day



Not many people have heard about Jesus. He's a guy with fins and glasses, to help him walk, cause he lost them. I think that God meant to make a grill instead of Jesus, but he fucked up. Who wants a savior when you could have a bar be que instead. There are two things better than a grill, and my feet. Arizona and Punky Brewster, Not many people give Punky the props she damn well deserves. (Thank you Tribe)




Mmmf<-Please ignore this is garbage

Sely Posterpedic


OK, I have my train of thought back. I have said this about a million times, but it never ceases to amuse me. OK, you have the church, which, in essence, is a "nonprofit" orginization. However, even the church needs money to maintain its facilities and feed its priests and whatever. So, common sense dictates, why not make a profit while your "raising money". I think that, since the church already has a pretty big following, it should start selling products, like shirts, and drinks, and candybars, have sale pitches like, Jesus drinks sacremental wine, shouldn't you? Shit, think of it, the church could become a multi billion dollar independent business, it wouldn't even have to incorporate. They could even go into the sale of basic household items, like toilet paper, furniture, I mean seriously, who doesn't want blessed toilet paper. Then, after they have a go in the commodities market, they can move on to the entertainment industry, they could finance a football team, fuck, a whole football league. It would be revolutionary. They could start airlines and taxi and other transportation services. This could be the churches opening to re-uniting church and state, I mean if they have enough economic pull, then they'll start to have political pull. What an idea.

P.S. Just in case I piss off any major entities, this is all meant in jest, and there is no malice or insult intended. God, Jesus, I apologize for any inconvenience.

To be continued....Visualize grilled Jesus



Hi, this is will. i'm still getting used to this keyboard. it's tricky but i think once i learn to use it my typing will be permanently better. right now, however, i totally suck. i have to resort to looking at the keyboard again. how sad is that? jen is a sweetheart, she fixed my slinky. now i can slink again. yay!

yoobleniloowop mm lizasew!!!

slinky knots are NOOOOO good. -Jen

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