"Who Needs Sleep?" is a song by the Barenaked Ladies. It is on the Stunt CD which was released on July 7, 1998. I hate this song but I can't keep myself from listening to it. It's like a compulsion. On nights when I can't sleep, I put it on repeat and listen to them taunt me.

Lids down, I count sheep
I count heartbeats
The only thing that counts is
that I won't sleep
I countdown, I look around

I stare at the ceiling, resenting the music but not willing to turn it off. It seems like too much work to get out of bed and cross to the stereo. I doze, for maybe half an hour. When wake up, it is still faithfully playing at the edge of my hearing. The red numbers on my alarm clock stare at me. For two hours I watch them indifferently counting down my remaining time to sleep. This is doing me no good.

Who needs sleep?
well you're never gonna get it
Who needs sleep?
tell me what's that for
Who needs sleep?
be happy with what you're getting
There's a guy who's been awake
since the Second World War

The song has played through so many times without input from me that my stereo has shut itself off. I rejoice in the sudden silence but I can't ignore the little voice in the back of my head that continues the taunt laid down in my mind all night long. "Who needs sleep? Well you're never gonna get it." I wonder why my body does this to me. My mind races through all the things I have to do today.

"There's really no point in just lying here," I remind myself aloud just to hear the sound of my voice.

I close my eyes for another minute and wish for a miracle. Blinking feels so good. I just wish each blink would last longer. Resigned, I drag myself out of bed and go take my shower. Even there, I am not safe from the taunting. An alert and happy DJ on the radio anounces that it is three in the morning and dedicates the song "Who needs sleep?" to all the insomniacs out there. How cute. Briefly, I wish that I could bash his head in but that would require far too much of my limited store of energy.

It's better for me to just get dressed and pour myself a glass of orange juice to take my morning pill with. I know the caffeine won't help me get to sleep but it will improve the quality of my awake time. As I wait for the wonderful rush of false energy, I try to figure out what has triggered the insomnia this time. I just can't place it. It doesn't matter I guess. Eventually, I will fall into an exausted sleep and when I wake up, everything will be back to normal. Untill then, I will let the Barenaked Ladies taunt me with their song.

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