Dear Mr. President,
As a concerned citizen of our great country, I feel the need to address what I feel are some very compelling issues that seem to have divided the country in half and have split the country along partisan lines. Two of the most prominent ones that come to mind and that have divided the country are the war in Iraq and the number of illegal immigrants who now call America home. If you factor in those that are crossing the border almost every day in order to find a better way of life and you combine that with the military’s recent troubles in reaching their retention and recruiting quotas, I think I’ve stumbled upon a solution that might just satisfy both ends of the political spectrum. Maybe we can kill two birds with one stone?
I know that you have already has already proposed something called a “guest worker program” in which those folks that are in the country illegally might be able to get some amnesty from picking lettuce and fruit and doing other folks laundry but when you think about it, where’s the dignity in that? For the most part, it’s backbreaking labor intensive work that pays very little and offers no benefits for the workers themselves. It also seems to have some of your more conservative constituents up in arms and I fear that you are in danger of losing your base you should you choose to try an navigate such a slippery slope.
I also read in the news that the war in Iraq, well, it ain’t going to well. Recruiting of new soldiers seems to be at an all time low and if I believe what I hear, people are leaving the military in droves right after their tour of duty is up. Call me crazy but it seems that Americans just don’t like the idea of getting killed thousands of miles away for a cause that most of them don’t understand.
So here’s what I propose. I say take the “guest worker program” and take it one step further. Instead of rounding all of those illegal aliens up and sending them back to where they came or offering them up the amnesty , why don’t we send them off to boot camp instead? When they’re done, we can issue them a uniform and a gun and get them to do our fighting for us?. After all, they’re supposedly doing the jobs that Americans don’t want to do anyway. All you have to do is feed them a steady diet of commercials run by the military that highlight the glory that comes along with being a soldier. I’m sure you’ve seen them. The jarheads have their “The Few. The Proud. The Marines.” and I think the Army is touting something called “The Army of One” and how they train you on these things called “computers”. I’m thinking that every red blooded Mexican would jump at the chance to get out of the fields and their overalls and into a business suit and an air conditioned office after their tour is up.
All we have to do is promise them full citizenship when their tour of duty is complete and they can return to their adopted homeland safe and secure with the knowledge that they have paid their dues and done their time like the rest of us.
Of course this plan is still in the preliminary stage and those illegal’s that are too young, too old or too afflicted with disease to serve their adopted homeland wouldn’t have to go. I’m still trying to figure out what to with them and any help that you folks can offer would be greatly appreciated. Maybe Mr. Cheney or Mr. Rumsfeld has some thoughts along those lines.
I plan on formalizing this a bit and re-submitting it to my local state representative in the very near future. I just thought it would be nice to give you a heads up on the matter should it ever come across your desk. Who knows? We might be able to stem the tide of immigrants and the stream of dead and injured Americans in one fell swoop.
God Bless America!
Your loyal citizen,
borgo