You know, the ones which committmentphobic men can't say. For the benefit of these chauvinists, then, repeat after me "I love you".
"ditto" doesn't count, nor any number of starwars inspired jokes.

A rather humorous non-a cappella song by the a cappella group Da Vinci's Notebook. Typical of the group, those three little words could never be I love you.

This song is a takeoff of the Meat Loaf song Paradise By The Dashboard Light. As with that tune, this song is broken into distinct sections.

Part I: Bloodshot Demons

The song starts with a fairly simple piano & vocal duet, smooth and easy. The lyrics are almost ballad-like, including:
And I'd never seen a woman looking better than she did
On that lonely deep dark hot summer night.
Maybe I don't know what I'm asking you for
And maybe I know it ain't right
Won't you pull my finger, baby
'Til the morning light.

Part II: Gotta Get Out

As the tempo increases, the energy of the vocalist seems to increase. The lyrics also shift from smooth easy to a driving, pushing schmaltz:
So I got on my bike and headed out on the road
At a hundred million miles an hour

Part III: A Hockey Game

Cut in to a radio announcer at a hockey match:
... Duchesne brings the puck up towards the center line,
looks for the open man, passes over to Hunter who
takes a shot from the point, wide left...

Part IV: The Big Ending

Cut back to our hero and the girl he was singing to at the start. A sappy back-and-forth duet. A sample:


Pull my finger

Put it away

Pull my finger

Please don't ask me again

You know that I need for you to

I'm tired of your childish games

Pull my finger

Improvements from the original Meat Loaf include changing the baseball play by play to the hockey you see a part of above, and shifting the topic over to flatulence. As seen in the required Thanks! section of the album this song is contained within: "... Julie Murphy Wells (no one ever sang more expressively about gas)...".

Music and lyrics © 1999 Sleestack Serenade Music, ASCAP. From the album The Life and Times of Mike Fanning. I can't do it justice in text -- check for a sample.

Three little words
I never thought I’d hear her say
let alone shout at the top her lungs
for all the other soccer moms to hear
Said with tears of hurt in her eyes
and with venom in her voice
and malice in her heart
still echo in my ears
like the sound of a gunshot
in a closed room.

They have,
for the time being,
replaced three little words
that I’ve always taken for granted

When I look
Into your eyes
I melt
The world disappears
I fall into you

And I almost say it
Every time

Instead I couch it in
“Have a good night”
“Drive safe”
“See you soon”
Or a shy smile

“What?” You ask

“You know...” I say

And I smile
And you smile
Three words
So true
So difficult
But actions speak
Louder than words,
You know

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