We had this
talk in the dark because you can’t deal with seeing your face in the mirror
during day light. And I understand how you feel about that. There are days when
I avoid my reflection out of fear it might reveal my true intent on a whole
place a bet on us two being something of a chance happening by pure luck in a
limited amount of time, caught somewhere on a hinge in an old universe swallowing
itself slowly? I’ve got the feeling this is what your insides feel like.
Burning flames licking up my thighs and raw hisses tickling my ears.
I’d known what kind of beast you become when my words melt before your hands,
wouldn’t I have known how to deal with you…and it’s not a question.
into frenzy, you lost your cool. I watched you turn and growl at me, or so you
thought you were doing. But all you are is my figment of imagination from years
past. I tried subtly telling you why you made me do what I did, throwing
gasoline on your ashes. I wanted to let you know that you made me think of
myself, way back.
night, you spoke nonchalantly, but of eerily vivid strokes in circles forming
beneath an ashen layer in my heart. You have no idea how long I worked on
maintaining control, no matter what and no matter where. And to you, everything
you performed became the moves of a lonely fool, a useless tool.
For a split
second, I knew you to be like me.
of working my claws into your heart, tearing and splitting and eating your
bloody remains, I unfolded a soft cloth I hide in another drawer of my own
soul, taking out a glowing little key, finding your vulnerable spot and turning
it carefully back into place.
still believe my act of rage and anger and think me to be an arrogant and
terrible creature, or have you now seen my caress?
are trailing up all to my eyes, and I fear for you.