The right hand knows not what the left hand does
No, I do not suffer from
alien hand syndrome. Inherent stupidity maybe. Which is also incurable as far as I know.
It's just that... well, take these examples:
- I'm spooning sugar into my coffee with my right hand. At the same time my left hand goes all like: "hey, where's my napkin? Oh there it is: by my right elbow". So then my two hands collide and sugar is scattered all over the table. People say: 'What were you thinking?'. But I wasn't, that's the point. I never got the chance, did I?
- Or I'm shaving, and as my right hand circumnavigates my knee my left hand is all "I'll just smoothe that shaving foam right there", and of course the razor shaves off a good portion of my left thumb before I realize this bloody hurts! And then when people ask what is up with the band aid... Well, what do I tell them? I cut myself shaving? What kind of weirdo shaves her thumb?
- In these gift-wrapping times I often handle scissors. Well, I guess I don't have to draw and colour the picture for you. Cutting carefully while straightening the fine paper... Oh, well.
I often do these things.
Maybe it's because I'm clumsy or maybe I'm just... Well, never mind, I'll just... Oh,
drat! There goes my cup of coffee.