Bliss, it has been said,
is being married to your best friend.
That works out great. But what if you're
in love with your best friend, and she doesn't feel the same way?
Her name's Melissa, but we all call her Missy. I've known her for over 6 years now. She knows all my
dark secrets. I know hers.
And then one day, something happened. I fell in love with her. Not just these stupid
highschool crushes, actual, heart-wrenching
love. I was pretty sure she didn't feel the same way, so I didn't act on it. That was the biggest mistake of my whole life. She dated a few guys, and it hurt me to see them together, not only because they were not me, but because the relationships were shallow, pointless relationships based almost purely on
sex.
I gave up, decided I didn't feel like being alone, so I went out with some girl (who I didn't much like, but I knew she liked me.) That
relationship lasted for over a year, but it distracted me so I didn't end it untill she REALLY got on my nerves. Anyways, we broke up and my feelings for Melissa came back with a
vengeance.
I haven't been able to look at anyone, or talk to anyone, or even casually think of anyone, and still be able to feel anything since. I've tried. There's a few people, all
intelligent, good looking, fun to be with and all that other great stuff, and who like me to top it off, but they don't do anything for me. All I can think of is her.
I asked her the other day "If I were to
ask you out (I'm not going to) what would your response be?". She replied that "We're too
good friends, you're like a
brother to me. Sorry". This is over
ICQ. She can't see me crying. "Meh, just wondering"
I found out today from a friend that she's mad at me. She'd rather not go on our semi-regular
coffee outings.
I fucked it up. I fucked up the most important friendship I ever had. I fucked it up because i had to go and fall in love.
And yet, I still can't get over her.