ATTENTION MALES:
Should a friend/collegue/partner or passerby comment on the few extra ripples on your waistline, deal with the situation thusly:
Howya Tom, haven't seen ya in a while. Be Jaysus, you're packin' on a few extra pounds there son, been eatin' packs of butter again?
Well Jimmy, you know what they say. You can't drive a big nail without a big hammer!