Fireworks are over......
But a new type of spectacle is taking shape. All I have to do is get it, the options are in front of me. Get an 8-ball, join the party. I have to be out on the farm to pick zuchini at 8AM. My friend and a couple of girls told me, they'd pay if I could place it. I can, and I told them I will. I'm not going out, sleep seems much more important to me these days. Trying to leave behind the life I've lived for 8 years doesn't happen easily. There are reasons that keep me in it, they seduce me. Being offered a finders fee doesn't even seem worth it. My friend who asked is a good person looking for a night to remember. Not being able to deny them that seems fake and shallow on my part, well guess what? 90% of the shit I deal with on a regular basis is fake and shallow. Help people get by, even if the means don't suit my needs.
Things shine more, food tastes better, and any other cliches re-enlightment phrases fit here. I took a step tonight, small as hell. But a step nonetheless. Respect and friendship aren't the same thing. Cocaine will pass through my hands, but not my nose. 8 hours of picking and cleaning vegetables on a farm will clear your head, but not clear the past......
I feel like fucking Doogie Howser.
daylogs suck