(Pleasantly) "Hi, I'm here to pick up my check."
"Hrm...I don't seem to have anything here."
(sigh) "All right, I'll do down and talk to payroll directly"
(drive to payroll, which is conveniently located in a building 2
miles away from the offices...I can only speculate why)
(A tad annoyed) "Hi, I was looking for my check. I asked in
the department office but it wasn't there. I thought it might still
(short, fat, obnoxious little man) "Hrm...no, we don't have
it. What's your name?
"Right...okay...hrm. I don't seem to have you in the system"
"Riight...I've been working here for a month and a half. I've yet to
get paid. I was told I was going to be paid two Fridays ago, then last
Friday, then this one."
"Well, if you're not in the system, you're definitely not going to be
paid. Let me check again, what's your social security number?"
(Realizing this is hopeless) "66-66-6666"
"Hrm...nope. Looks like you haven't been entered yet. I'll talk to
someone and find out what happened. You'll be paid on Friday"
(anger rising) "No, I will be fucking paid TODAY. I
have been here six weeks. I've been trying to get you morons to enter
me into the payroll the WHOLE GODDAMN TIME! NOW CUT ME A FUCKING
(Clearly not realizing the danger he's in) "Listen, if
you're not in the system we can't pay you."
Inhaling sharply, my hands clench into fists. I feel the surge of
righteous wrath boiling in my brain. The room suddenly grows cold as
its heat is absorbed into my body.
I begin to grow.
Every muscle in me grows taut as the white-hot heat of rage grips
me. The dim room is lit by the reddish glow emanating from my body.
My head snaps back, eyes closed, arms out to my sides, a hellish
scream rips from my body. Glassy eyed, the smallish tub of fat stands
helpless before me.
Seven feet tall, I tower above the simple-mid ed fool. I bring my
head up again and my eyes open, glowing red in place of white. With
every muscle straining, I raise both hands, fingers outstretched,
pointing at the now babbling ignoramus. A searing heat tears through
my body, racing into my arms. With a jerk, power blasts from my
fingers, ripping into his blubbery form. He is immediately thrown into
wall behind him, impacting with a sickening crunch. His charred and
broken frame slide to the ground, as the smell of burning cellulite
fills the air.
With another scream, the power suddenly blasts from my body in all
directions, smashing through brick and concrete. The building
begins ripping apart from its inside, detonating outward in a
Standing amidst a pile of rubble, I feel the last remnants of my
power fade. I gasp as fatigue attacks my body, drained from expending
so much energy at once.
As the dust begins to settle on the smoldering wreckage, a small
envelope, its white paper sharply contrasting with the charred
landscape, slowly flutters from the sky. Extending my hand, it falls
delicately into my palm--alighting as nimbly as a butterfly.
Peering through its white membrane, I can just make out the phrase
"Pay to the order of r00k123"
Smiling, I stroll to my car.