Since the Other Noders' List just said I was noding a carrot, I thought I should.
Carrot Ironfoundersson was found by a tribe of Ramtops
dwarfs as an infant. The baby was found in the
wreckage of a carriage, along with the most
unmagical sword the dwarfs had ever seen. Instead of having a magical aura, the sword was merely very very sharp and, in fact, looked like a sword for killing people with most efficiently.
Carrot was
adopted by the
King of the particular group of dwarfs who found him, and lived a
happy, though
stooped, life until his relationship with another (presumably female, but it's almost impossible to know, with dwarfs) dwarf, named Minty, became too worrisome for either of their parents to accept any longer.
Carrot was firmly but kindly told to leave the
home mine and go to live with
"
his own kind" in
Ankh Morpork. Before he left he was given a copy of the laws of the city and a "protective" device.
He arrived in the city with the laws memorised and a huge
innocence. He asked for, and was given, lodging in a
house of ill repute, in
the Shades (the roughest part of the city) and reported for work with The City Watch the next morning.
During his time in the
City Watch, Carrot struck up a romance with
Angua, a
werewolf and another policeman in the Watch.
Carrot's innocence and
goodness( not to mention large
size and strength), allowed him to
reform the broken down City Watch into a an
efficient crime fighting force in fairly short order, and he quickly became
infamous among the city's
nobility, as it seemed apparent he was the "Rightful King" of Ankh Morpork. Carrot himself, however, always sidestepped the issue when it was raised, and remained a
policeman.