Let me start with a sentence from
Dostoyevsky’s The Gambler – “I look upon the generally
accepted opinion concerning the folly and the grossness of hoping to win at
gambling as a thing even more absurd. For why is gambling a whit worse than any
other method of acquiring money? How, for instance, is it worse than trade?
True, out of a hundred persons, only one can win; yet what business is that of
yours or of mine?” The attempt here is
not to address a moral question, but to find out the thought process by
gambling.
The tendency to gamble probably indicates
the subconscious identification of the fact that one can lose everything in the
fraction of a second. It also addresses the remote possibility of being able to
gain everything which has been lost in a similar time interval. The gambler
derives a certain joy in this suffering, the continuous uncertainty which
remains the most exciting, if not fearsome aspect of his life. Most of the
technological advances made by humanity are attempts to limit the uncertainty
with regard to health, transportation, communication etc. However, deep inside the human mind, one
knows the certainty of the uncertain flow of events in one’s life and that the
only certain thing that man is assured of, is death. All the material progress
in the world is intended to take care of the uncertainty in life, whereas the
all the spiritual endeavours are to take care of the only certain element – the
closure of life.
Gambling is one of the few
activities in life which takes care of both the aspects – the uncertainty of
winning and almost certain defeat. Wins during a gambling session does not
excite the gambler as much as the disappointment during the losses, if one were
to measure the excitement/contentment and the disappointment by proper scales. The
losses make the gambler more determined to win, he will be determined to not
make the most obvious stupid mistakes, just as a sick person is determined to
get back to well-being by not going on a binge. Whereas, the wins give him the
false impression that he is solely responsible for it and the false hope that
he will continue winning.
The prudence observed by the ‘good
gambler’ is seen by the ‘sincere gambler’ as cowardice, because the sincere
gambler is almost always the fool and the loser. The sentiment which goes
through his mind is probably “I have risked everything and you are reluctant to
part with a small share of your fortune!”
Even if he were in dire straits,
the proud person upon losing a gamble portrays himself like the General in Dostoyevsky’s The Gambler, who in one instance,
rises from the gambling table smiling, restraining himself from venting his
disappointment. For me the pretentiousness in front of the gambling table is
the mother of all. Gambling being a miniature model of life itself for the
desperate and the hopeful (“there is no despair without hope”), one who
pretends in that setting is more likely to pretend before everyone including the
person who he loves most. Here I talk about the desperate and the hopeful and not the indifferent because, I believe that hell is the unbearable state of being indifferent to everything and I am not there yet.