"I used to be a
superhero.
I would swoop down, and save me from myself.
But you were like a phone booth
I somehow stumbled into.
Now look at me:
I am just like everybody else."
-Ani Difranco
I went to see a doctor, today, a routine 2-year physical. Nothing wrong with me. Afterwards I realized that part of me wanted something to be wrong with me. It would give me some kind of reason, a reason why I seem to be less than I thought I was.
(Probably I'm more, in other directions.)
Instead, I told him about little things I had noticed, but he said they were all nothing to worry about. Blood pressure is a bit high, though -- nothing to worry about, but come back in a month and we'll check it again. I got the strange impression he was there to take care of my car or washing machine, not to take care of me. A repairman for my body, not a healer. Friends do more for my health, it seems.
I sat in the garden on the roof of the Rideau Centre. I saw a female sunbathing. I looked at her, and it was beautiful. No particular sexual attraction -- I wouldn't have talked to her -- I just thought it was nice to look at.
I've started reading The Illuminatus Trilogy again, now that I've found a bookstore that sells Robert Anton Wilson. I recommend it for anyone who wants their reality challenged.