FINITY
The Irreducible Agendum of Membrane Collision
As Outlined by the Fourth Daughter of Ordained Membrane
Prolocutor Rhayae Polonomonomanicalasteriphoronious
Preamble
The river loves her name, for the name of the river is the
name of the river loves her name for the name of the river is the name of the
river loves her name for the name of the river.
Exordium
" Membranes (will) collide(d). "
Overture
Mountains before the big crunch an unconscious reckoning tolls
like cell senescence. A deal must be made. A silent and perfect collision.
Prolegomenon
p = x1
The Primary Agreement
The Routine for Transmittance
Sentinel Marroway, in all his magnanimous and oblivious penta-dimensional
wisdom gives the Chariot of Delapadedaedalonopholus passage. Sentinel Marroway
rotates the Chariot of Delapadedaedalonopholus to the traditional and
imperseverant orientation, for it is the key itself.
Chariot Master Champion Rhynehornn explodes.
Sentinel Marroway is no more.
The Secondary Agreement
The Intercourse of Carnal Encryption Knowledge
The Primary Agreement is complete. A collision is agreed to,
but the terms of the Secondary Agreement will not be ratified for quite some
possibilities. Chariot Master Champion Rhynehornn must mate with the sixth
daughter of Ordained Membrane Prolocutor Rhayae
Polonomonomanicalasteriphoronious. Now we dance.
A great ball in the extensive and august halls of the Ordained Membrane
Prolucotor Rhayae Polonomonomanicalasteriphoronious. There is grastfa,
cheraalorn, simpalaiticoins, and remphossils for everyzero.
Now they mate. The evening is a success. It is always a success.
The Tertiary Agreement
The Method for Androcentric Extraction
If the first born child of the four million, seven hundred and
fifty four thousand, two hundred and sixty fourth generation of the sixth
daughter of Ordained Membrane Prolucotor Rhayae
Polonomonomanicalasteriphoronious is male, then:
The brane collision will result in a universe with matter.
If the first born child of the four million, seven hundred and
fifty four thousand, two hundred and sixty fourth generation of the sixth
daughter of Ordained Membrane Prolucotor Rhayae
Polonomonomanicalasteriphoronious is female, then:
The brane collision will result in a universe without
matter.
The Arrangement for Universe Expansion
All ninety members of the Expansion and Propagation
Committee meet to discuss the terms of expansion and matter propagation. Once
the terms are agreed to, all ninety members must perform the secret poyshake
with each other member of the committee. This poyshake procedure explains why
committee members are bred for their lengthy poys.
The Descendence of Daphney Pover
Once the poyshake procedure is complete, Daphney Pover
descends unto the committee forum and dissolves it, but not before the committee
members poy her the final draft of the arrangment.
The Digestion of the Final Draft of the Arrangement for
Universe Expansion
Daphney Pover then consumes the draft and relieves herself
into the Urn of Willhelm.
The Fate of the Urn of Willhelm and Contents
Daphney Pover sends the filled Urn of Willhelm upward into
space. Eventually, Urn Recipient Ichthellopherenseppeldonn Proan catches the
Urn of Willhelm. Urn Recipient Ichthellopherenseppeldonn Proan is located
9 × 1015 meters away from Daphney Pover. Urn
Recipient Ichthellopherenseppeldonn Proan inspects the contents of the Urn of
Willhelm. This is the signal for Membrane Information Director H to perform
his duties.
The Annulment of Matter Excluding the Corpus
Delicti of Ichthellopherenseppeldonn Proan
Membrane Information Director H deletes all matter in the
universe in question, including himself, the Urn of Willhelm, and the garments
of Urn Recipient Ichthellopherenseppeldonn Proan -- excluding Urn Recipient
Ichthellopherenseppeldonn Proan's physical body.
The Expansion of the New Universe
Urn Recipient Ichthellopherenseppeldonn Proan's corpse shrinks
to a nearly infinitely small point. If the first born child of the four
million, seven hundred and fifty four thousand, two hundred and sixty fourth
generation of the sixth daughter of Ordained Membrane Prolucotor Rhayae
Polonomonomanicalasteriphoronious was male, the point expands in all directions
becoming the embodiment of the new universe.
Otherwise, it disappears.
The natural ability of Urn Recipient Ichthellopherenseppeldonn
Proan's corpse to perform these acts is the only innate function of the Universe that is consistent
across membranes.
1Insert p-value here. The p-value can be found by
measuring the orientation of Chariot Master Champion Rhynehornn's Chariot of
Delapadedaedalonopholus after Sentinel Marroway's orientation.