The horrors of the modern day crisis in America often makes me cut short my coffee breaks in order to jot down thoughts regarding these and other matters. Ever since the military coup that placed a Kenyan strongman in charge of our government, things have been very dire as far as the teaching of ethics at a university level, which is what I do very well all of the time. Although demonic Joe Biden was driven out of Delaware to help prop up this puppet government, we now have to deal with failed Baltimore mayor Tommy Carcetti getting elected as governor of Maryland. For those unfamiliar with Tommy Carcetti and his band of hooligans, the best way to describe him is as a white Jimmy Carter.
One of the stories I often tell my students in my Advanced Ethics in America class is about Testicles, the tragic Greek hero who led a purge of non-meaningful peasants and other non-productive types by putting them in weighted boxes and dropping them into the Aegean Sea, where many a corpse of a meaningless person can be found if you are a thrill diver. When Testicles (not to be confused with the body part "testicles," a made up word used instead of the correct medical term of "balls" as an insult to the great Greek Senator) founded Sparta in the times before the Christ, he knew he had to dump seventy percent of the Greek population of Sparta into the sea in order to create a productive state that could defend itself against Middle Eastern terrorists. In the end he whittled the population down to 300 and they did everything. There was no need to keep the rest around. Hobos aren't much good for anything once you're done laughing at them.
All that remains of this wonderful history, erased from the history books by the liberal agenda and the liberal media, is the fraternity system on our college campuses. These wonderful fraternities are now under attack from liberals, just as the liberals of Athens plotted the assasination of Testicles. These fraternities have the ethical acumen to torture the weak and keep them out of their Greek system, founded on the writings of the great and glorious Testicles. You pronounce his name TES-TA-CLEES.
This week I asked my students, on the opening ceremonies of the fall semester, to write a paper on the topic of how Testicles would handle our current American crisis. I lead them into this assignment by first pointing out that Testicles would form a militia to oust the Kenyan strongman who has taken over our government by force, a fact ignored by every couch potatoe and fern-sniffing liberal in America today. It is necessary in today's climate to form armed militias. I have one that is led by myself and my friends Chopper and The Slow Kid. The next step is to begin violent and bloody purges of everyone who doesn't either own a company or work in sales. These ideas are sensible. They represent the common sense that is so rare in today's biased and perverse media.
If you look at the history of countries that have been taken over by communist strongmen from African nations you will see that my positions are merely common sense and very ethically sound.