A decidedly southern solution to an age-old problem.
I have happened upon the
perfect hangover remedy. The secret is found in proper
nutrition, and what better place to look for said
nutrition than your friendly neighborhood
Bojangles?
Ingredients
One Chicken and Biscuit combo (which includes french fries) with sweet tea.
Two packets of honey mustard sauce
lots of cajun seasoning
Methodology
Before leaving the counter with your food, be sure to thoroughly coat your food with the cajun seasoning, especially the fries. Go find a table. By the time you will have sat down, half your sweet tea will have mysteriously disappeared, so go get a free refill. Now that you've secured a reasonable quantity of your drink of choice, you're ready to construct the biscuit-chicken construct:
- Carefully separate your biscuit into two halves, sandwich-style.
- Place the strips of chicken on one half of the biscuit.
- Use one (and only one) of the packets of honey mustard sauce as dressing for the chicken.
- Place the second half of the biscuit on top of the chicken, and Voila!
Consume the construct ravenously, pausing periodically to eat the fries (after dipping them in the remaining honey mustard sauce) and drink your tea. Refills are absolute necessities.
Quasi-Scientific Explanation
Hangovers are caused by a number of factors, the most important being malnutrition, dehydration, and the persistence of congeners (impurities) in one's bloodstream. Of course, the remedy described above goes straight to the heart of the malnutrition problem. The food all has mind-boggling levels of fat, which is the most compact energy source (compared to carbohydrates and protein). The glucose in sweet tea, a supersaturated solution, provides much immediately available energy.
The problem of dehydration is solved by the high intake of tea. The high levels of solvents that will eventually appear in the bloodstream, namely the salty seasoning and the sugar, help to raise the osmotic pressure of the solution. This change helps to keep the water in the bloodstream, where it is needed to filter out the congeners.
The caffeine in the tea finish the equation, because it acts as a diuretic, inducing a torrential flood of urine that will serve to purge your system of any remaining impurities.
Conclusion
Bojangles is good for you. With a small (less than $5) investment, one can create a foolproof hangover remedy that even a child could mix up. Besides, it tastes like manna from heaven.