Been doing the whole depression thing, which is boring to go through, and even more boring to write about. It has been said before, but depression is neither sexy nor interesting. It is just tiresome and stifling, and nothing good ever comes of it.
Yesterday, I watched over seven hours of television, most of it reality television. Big Brother, So You Think You Can Dance, Top Chef, Last Comic Standing, Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List, et cetera. I did this simply from a lack of anything better to do. Instead of cleaning out the van, the house, doing laundry, working extra hours, or doing the dishes I was watching television and playing video games. And none of it was any fun.
I am far too smart for this. This unimaginative, bland boring is for other people.
But I think I'm over it, for now. Last night I got a text message from a former liason. We lay about in my room, holding hands and caressing skin. Afterward, I felt like me again. Like a human being.
Every day I sit down at a desk in the call center, put a headset on, and bring up the various systems that I need. I log into my desk phone, push a button, and the deluge of calls begin. In a ten hour shift I will take over 60 calls. All of them begin the same way:
"It's a beautiful day at ----, my name is Garland, how may I help you?"
I work technical support, which consists mainly of telling people to turn off their phones once a decade, following troubleshooting guides, and narrowing down the source of problems. Sometimes it involves telling people that, no, we are not sending them a new phone to replace the one they dropped in the pool, that yes, their child did send and receive thousands of text messages without a messaging feature on their account, leading to hundreds of dollars of overage. Their contention that their child told them that they NEVER send text messages is not my fucking problem. Of course, I am ever so polite about it.
I am good at what I do because these people will never make me angry or upset, they will never see me sweat. I treat them with respect even when they are patently rude, and I find them amusing. A woman who is shouting at the top of her lungs because she thinks she deserves a new Blackberry for free, without any extension of her contract, simply because she's been a customer for three years is ridiculous. And the fact that I know it isn't going to happen only makes it better for me, because all I have to do is be extremely nice and it is only going to make her more angry.
Sometimes I am chosen to do floor support, answering questions and taking calls when someone asks to speak to a supervisor. The thing I love about these calls is that I am the end of the line for them. No transfers to another department, all of it stays in house. They can ask to speak to my supervisor, but if that happens chances are the supervisor is going to end up hanging up on the customer for harassment. Some of these people get vicious.
The burnout rate is high, and the work is hard, to an extent. Calls are back to back most of the time, and there is little downtime. But I like it, sometimes. I like connecting emotionally with good customers, making angry customers even angrier with kindness, and once in a while, making people happy.
Love and Nosebleeds
Garland