The idea that the order of one’s birth in a family helps shape one’s personality; slightly more respected than phrenology in this day and age…

Although some analyses include categories such as twins, adopted children, “ghost children” (a child who died in infancy, but whose significance to the family is still felt by remaining siblings), the only girl in a family of boys and vice versa,¹ basic birth order theory can be broken down into three categories; firstborn/ only child, second born/ middle child, and youngest. Of course, even those who put great faith in these theories acknowledge the influence of other factors in shaping children’s personalities: these include gender, the number of years between children in a family, the total number of children in a family, parental attitudes, and the social and economic position of the family.

People who adhere to this theory have extended it beyond the impact on the family of origin to include which birth orders should marry, and which are the best/ worst to work with.

Without further ado…

Oldest / only child

• Parental expectations for this individual are high; they are often expected to set an example, and are given a good deal of responsibility.
• Strongly motivated to achieve; perfectionistic, self-sacrificing, goal-oriented.
• Academically successful; oldest children are “over-represented among college students, graduate students, college faculty, and other learned groups.”²
• First borns and only children are usually strong supporters of law and order and believers in authority and ritual.³

Only children

• Conscientious, well-organized; list makers, reliable.
• Are often the center of their parents’ attention; can be spoiled or over-protected.
• May prefer adult company, even as children; may be loners and have trouble relating to or sharing with peers.

Second born/ middle child

• Even tempered, but sensitive to injustice.
• Relates well to others (both older and younger); sociable.
• Successful in team sports.
• Competition with older sibling(s) may become rivalry; may become rebellious; often will pick areas of interest different from those of older siblings (will march to the beat of hir own drum).

Youngest child

• Often spoiled; can remain “ the baby” for life.
• Dreamers of big dreams (that may or may not ever come to fruition).
• “Highest representation among writers (especially autobiographers and family historians)”.⁴
• Empathetic; popular; charming; often good salespeople.

Notes: ¹Henry T. Stein, Ph.D, Alderian Overview of Birth Order Characteristics, http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/hstein/birthord.htm , 4/28/02; See also Alfred Adler, What Life Could Mean to You ² and   ⁴ Daniel Eckstein, Ph.D, Birth Order and Personality Differences, http://www.encouragingleadership.com/Birth_Order.htm , 4/28/02 ³Dr. Kevin Leman, The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are, quoted in Kelly Woo, Birth order can say a lot about your family, http://archive.nandotimes.com/links/nandonext/volume5/birth.html , 4/28/02