What the hell is going on? Has anybody been listening to the news? Why is everything so wierd? The news anchors keep talking about the problem. What problem? Down by the Student Union there was a platoon of U.S. Marines. They blocked off the street with a huge USMC tractor trailer and were handing out gas masks to everyone. Gas masks! Mine came with a glossy pamphlet talking about biological and chemical warefare preparedness drills. I feel like I'm living in the 1950's. Are we about to pick another fight with the United Islamic Kaliphate? Or did President Simpson finally decide to take sides in the Chinese Civil War? It's not like American TV news to beat around the bush.