I can't understand why anyone would watch a Steven Seagal movie. His martial arts skills are boring to watch, he can't act, and he doesn't have the personality to make up for the lack of acting skills. And apparently, he's not a fun person to be around, as a skit in Saturday Night Live ended with Nicholas Cage saying "Oh god, I bet I'm the worst guest ever," and Lorne Michaels saying ,"No, that would be Steven Seagal."
Here is a short list of why Steven Seagal movies suck:
- He can't act.
- His martial arts are boring to watch.
- He has no discernable personality.
- There's no question in his movies that he is going to kick people's asses. He is never in trouble.
- He's too damn brutal. I feel sorry for the fat, large, hispanic gang-banger/drug dealer. I start rooting for the gangster, and hope that he has a gun hidden so he can cap Steven's ass.
- So if he's dressed up in Indian/Alaskan-looking clothing, he's supposed to be an Eskimo?
- His perpetual squint.
- Both Jackie Chan and Jet Li could kick his ass. Or at least they'd be more interesting to watch. Heck, he makes Chuck Norris seem good in comparison.
- His annoying bogus-Asian philosophy/religious crap.
I'm sure there's more reasons. Why don't people just stop watching his movies? Watch more Jet Li movies instead. Even if it's not subtitled, and you don't speak any Chinese, Jet Li would still communicate the character better than Steven Seagal could. How did that no-talent Steven Seagal ever make it in pictures?