It's really
amazing what
talking can accomplish. over the
weekend, to put it
simply, my girlfriend
fucked up. its not the kind of "
fucked up" that would bring on a
breakup, but rather the kind that deserves a
long in-depth conversation where
emotions are flying every which way.
she's done a lot of
crying these past few days since it happened. it happened with one of her
best friends, and she was so
afraid that she was going to
lose both myself and her friend because of what happened. she's in
boulder (an hour away), and i'm up here in
ft. collins, and so most of our talking was done over the phone. when it comes to
deep,
important,
emotional conversations PHONES SUCK!!!! of course that goes goes without saying, but still.
yesterday we were talking when she got home from
school and she
lost it again. she
broke down in tears over the phone because of how upset she could tell that i was, and how
upset she was that she had hurt me like she did. she asked me if she could
call me back and what time my next class was at, and so we
hung up. now i thought it was because she needed to
gather herself and think about the things that we had just talked about.
About an hour later, i hear a knock on the door, i open it to find Becky standing there in tears. As upset as i was, both with her, and just in general about what happened, without even realizing it, i hugged her and told her that i loved her.
She and i both did a lot of crying last night. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I cried last night. I dont usually cry, but it seems that when i do it's because of her and not always the crying that comes from sadness, much of it has been out of happyness. She and i have only known eachother for a little over 6 months now, and she has seem me cry more than anyone else i know. Last night as it got closer to when she had to leave, she told me about a song that she hears on the radio a lot that almost perfectly describes her feelings toward me. It's a song called "Hanging by a Moment" by Lifehouse. I had heard the song before, but didnt quite know exactally which song she meant. that was until she was in her car, and we were talking through her open window when she turned on the radio after not having it on for the past few days, and guess what song was playing? "Hanging By a Moment" when i heard it come on she didnt have to tell me that this was the song that she was tlaking about, i knew, and i broke down into tears. excuse the phrase, but i was sobbing like a little girl. eventhough she did what she did, and i'm still (and will be for a while) upset, i do love her. sure we have a lot to figure out between us, but i know that i DO love her (with all my heart), and that she and i are going to be just fine, if not stronger because of it.