the arms of Jesus. kingdom of heaven. 72 virgins. nirvana.
carbon. nitrogen. hydrogen. oxygen. almost exclusively.


laughter and trust. best sex in history. perfect family. perfect home.
glances and misunderstandings.


I will reach these goals. overcome these obstacles. earn this title. I will turn this place around.
I wasn't happy in the journey. I'm not happy at the destination.


I've poured my heart into this. it will change their lives. I will be revered. I will be adored.
nobody noticed.


they look down on me for this. they despise me. I will never be respected. I will never be accepted.
nobody noticed.


they are jealous. they are bitter. they are rejected. they are hateful.
they got over it.


I will see these things. I will find these things. it will be different. I will be changed.
still living myself. just somewhere else.


new year's resolution. spring cleaning. dog days. autumn of your life. tomorrow.
patterns. scheduling. order. the convenience of illusion.


just a bad day week month months. just bad sleep. just bad diet. I'll help myself later.
illness. logic-defying self-perpetuating illness.


the good with the bad. as it comes. one day at a time. it will be alright. you were meant to be here.
open to interpretation.



January or February, 2022