There was a little
baby fly just now was I turned the computer speaker's off and replaced them with headphones. Reaching behind the computer I need only slide my fingers across the first few holes on the
soundcard to find the one I'm looking for. I like that there is this thing, this
human memory. I was pondering this yesterday, as well,
whilst I was working.
Walking up and down walls (across, would be a more appropriate term perhaps), I counted the
studs, that is to say the wood that makes up a wall for those who are unfamiliar with the term for whatever reason. I closed my eyes and walked letting
my fingers trail along the wall to feel
the spaces and their ends. It seemed I could stop just before I would have walked into the wall, but it took much to trust my memory, for some reason. The first few times I opened my eyes before the wall, thinking that I'd hit it, though I was moving slowly and it wouldn't have hurt, regardless, but still.. no real trust. Is that to say,
I don't trust myself? That's probably accurate.
There is absolutely nothing dreamier to me than the smells of a house being built. There is the
lumber, fresh cement, dusty
gravel, the insulation (but the fibre glass type, not polyurethane).. it all has a smell to it that I am in love with. This is probably because of my dad and the fact that it reminds me of my
childhood. I just love walking around in a house that has no walls yet.. or even one that has rough walls in, drywall takes away from it though. I think one day that I might like to live in a house with nothing but the
outside walls intact.
I don't intend to be a
burden today, through whatever means, on the world as a whole. Thusly, I will trap some of my
thought'y matter inside, perhaps indefinitely.
I am so infinitely tired of
people reading over my shoulder.. I hate it. They stand behind me and I don't know they're there because I've headphones on and hear very little. I hate the intense
invasion of privacy that results. I don't want some people to read some things, I don't want others near me at all sometimes. I wish everyone would stop sneaking up behind me and peering into pieces of my life that I don't want them to..