shackled to a heart that wants to settle, and then runs away..
today is my father's
birthday. all things considered, i will take today simply to be thankful that he was strong enough. it seems it was only days ago.. and i am always unsettled-nervous, hoping it is all okay.
i am never ready.
things are quite strange lately. i am rarely lonely, often alone. i am confused and mostly happy, except when i am not.
i love you, although i am frequently questioning how much i love
the way life is unfolding.
lately
you have me so content to simply exist. it has been a while.
thank you.
i am watching the cd spin in my head around and around, picturing the music all dizzy and perfect.
there is something in his words, in the way that he sings them. i can hardly think of listening to much else the last few days.
so if she goes away, well, it's alright and i'm okay.
i am torn and i am afraid and
nothing seems to make sense but,
everything is so insanely beautiful.