This is for all you voyeurs out there, who love to read a life. if that's not you, ignore this.
There was a message from Scott on the phone when I got home from walking around wondering if he'd been just
trying to get rid of me. He'd left the message while i was online, but i always forget to check. Dan picked it up. I wrote down his number with some
co-op related notes, i don't know who i thought might be fooled. I'm so
sloppy.
We both know what i've been doing
I've been intentionally bad at lying
...
I hope i never improve my game
'cause i would rather have these things
weigh on my mind
at the end of this tunnel of guilt and shame
there must be a light of some kind.
Of course, Dan is so
oblivious, totally absorbed in his own
depressive state. My emotions for him are like a
gestalt picture, swapping back and forth between loving and bleeding for him, and hating him for being so
blind to anything but his own problems. I should know by now that there's nothing i can do for him. So i have to start doing things for myself. This is my
excuse, feeble if you will. It's too late to call Scott back.