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  1. Periodically I let my friends talk me into things;
  2. which is how I ended up going out on a date.
  3. There are rules of engagement, he doesn't have
  4. to know that I've got enough silk flowers to leave
  5. at fifty funerals.
  6. When I suggested we explore a local antique store
  7. I figured he didn't need to hear that I never eat,
  8. or drink anything when I'm out with a stranger.

 

  1. I don't have anything against right handed men,
  2. it just doesn't work in my experience, and I offer
  3. the following afternoon as proof. First of all, he
  4. wanted to drive, and I didn't like getting into his
  5. red Mustang because a guy who can't open a 
  6. door for me is automatically disqualified, and
  7. ineligible to share any time, but I decided to let
  8. him see if he could try and change my mind.

 

  1. We never made it to any of the stores
  2. on my list, and by the time we arrived
  3. at the north side of Milwaukee, I was seething.
  4. He remained oblivious to my mood as 
  5. he pulled over, not so we could walk on the
  6. beach, or enjoy the seashore, apparently
  7. he enjoys pontificating on the far side
  8. of Lincoln Memorial Drive. 

 

  1. If you were on a date, and there was a 
  2. cozy coffee shop to the left, and a sketchy
  3. filling station on the right, you wouldn't 
  4. park your car perpendicular to oncoming
  5. traffic, and let your date walk into the store
  6. alone, unarmed, and you could offer to
  7. buy a token something, but he didn't.
  8. I smiled at the cashier, and felt her warmth.

 

  1. On the way back he kept talking, I wasn't
  2. really listening, my mind was focused
  3. on escape; every Jag, each Land Rover,
  4. all the Volvos we passed seemed to be
  5. calling to me, silently signaling support,
  6. comfort, offering me the protection I had
  7. enjoyed when I worked at the dealership,
  8. and was perpetually surrounded by angels.

 

  1. I had agreed to meet him at Starbucks,
  2. and when we got back to the scene where
  3. it all went wrong, I saw that my car was
  4. blocked by a large tractor trailer combo.
  5. My date said that he could get the vehicle out
  6. quite easily, and I said I'd let him know
  7. if I needed help, vowing that I would
  8. dismantle the thing myself first.

 

  1. I could not drive out of his life fast enough,
  2. and perhaps I should have taken the
  3. extra time to block his number, but I wanted
  4. time to put as much freeway as I could
  5. between us. The father of my children
  6. sent me a text about the guy who had
  7. sold us a front door when we were still
  8. married, and I got a good laugh out of that.

 

  1. It's probably not good form to tell a date
  2. that I was texting a man I haven't slept
  3. with in almost six years, but he's been a
  4. part of my life since I was nineteen, and
  5. we do have two children together. My date
  6. had suggested visiting an 'art gallery',
  7. and without agreeing to anything more,
  8. I erased the text bubbles from my iPhone,
  9. and took the very long way home that night. 
  10. Many thanks to TheDeadGuy for the title