The essence of gambling is taking on risk, either calculated or absurd. You get an adrenaline rush from the uncertainty, that shot at winning. Then when you lose, you have to play again, to get that high again.

The object of sane gambling is to play games of skill rather than games of chance, or to find the odd element in games of chance that is undervalued, for example a horse that is okay, neither terrible nor fantastic, but is treated as an extremely long shot, because the payoff is out of proportion to the risk incurred. For example, lotto is normally a horrible bet, but when the payoff is potentially 370 million to 1 and the odds of winning are only 1 in 76 million, the game is better than fair, and if you could play enough times, your payoff would be sufficient.

It's probably not worth it to play. There are easier ways of making money, but addiction can be fun.