School starts tomorrow.
God, I'm nervous. Not about being a
senior, but about going to
Hope College for
French class. I don't even know when classes
start at Hope. Who's to say it's the same day as
West Ottawa High School?
I can already feel the eyes of college students measuring and weighing and judging me as I walk in the room. I can hear their giggles and rude comments, their opinions of my language ability and cautioning everyone not to talk to me. I can see the professor, staring, trying to hide a smirk but failing quite miserably. My hands shake with nervousness, I drop everything, I want to run and hide from those prying eyes. Everyone bursts into scornful laughter, tears stream down my face. Utterly humiliated, I sit in a corner, alone, and cry soundlessly.
These are the nightmares I've been having for months. Says a lot about my self confidance, huh? I know everything will work out. At least I hope it will. It should, anyway. Maybe. Dammit! I hate being so helpless!