While rummaging through my desk recently I came across a portable MP3 player. It was just sitting there, shiny and all pretty like. I hadn’t used the thing since I got it. Being that it was just laying around collecting dust, it was the perfect candidate for an Ebay auction, I thought. So I posted it; bidding starts at $25, NO RESERVE. Oh yes, there was one detail that slipped my mind at the time. This spectacular piece of technology was actually a Christmas present from my girlfriend. She of course found out about this auction, and was not too happy about it. Actually that’s an understatement, she was extremely upset. She says she wants out of this relationship. Words like “I deserve better than a fucking piece of shit asshole like you” come to mind.

It’s not that I forgot that it was a gift. I just wasn’t consciously thinking about it, I had a lot on my mind. Where is the sentimental value in a piece of consumer electronics anyway? Shit, it’s not like I’m pawning a wedding ring for God’s sake. Anyway, I admit it was a thoughtless act. I did apologize and offer to halt the auction and keep the device simply as a symbol of remembrance. But that's not good enough for her. I’m certainly not perfect, but am I really that much of an asshole???