Working at home is the next best thing to not working at all. Imagine -- wake up when you feel like it, exercise to your heart's content (if you're that kind of person), eat breakfast at your own pace, and work in your underwear, whether sober, drunk, or stoned out of your freaking gourd (or any manner of state of mind). There are plenty of legitimate work at home professions; some employers will gladly allow their most fortunate employees to "telecommute." However, any time you ever see an advertisement in the classifieds that says "Work at home," you can pretty much be 99.99(repeating)% sure that it's a total scam. Most work at home schemes involve multi-level marketing, which is essentially a type of pyramid scheme with a cheesy product, which supposedly makes it "legal." Others involve medical billing or transcription -- like any doctor is going to just let some jackass do their medical billing with no experience whatsoever.

I don't know about you, but here in Colorado, I see "Work at home" signs posted all over the place. They have become so frequent that a grassroots group called "CAUSS" has been formed to combat them. CAUSS stands for "Citizens against ugly street spam." Unfortunately, they usually don't remove "Work at home" signs. Instead, they staple a whiny little advertisement for themselves on top of the sign. It usually reads "This is litter! Please remove it!" and then has an URL to their website. I can understand what they're trying to do; their goal is to get people to take the initiative to remove the signs themselves. But on the other hand, I think they'd be more likely to recruit people by simply tearing the signs down en masse. Passersby will watch with interest, and may even ask questions.

I have taken to removing these signs whenever it is physically possible. Some of them are placed so high on lamp posts or telephone poles that it is impossible to remove them without a ladder -- but the clear majority are within reach. Many of the signs are printed on corrugated plastic, so one can assume that they cost some money to make. Considering this form of advertisement is illegal, it is your right, nay, your civic duty to remove them at every opportunity.

If anything, it's a good excuse to get some exercise. Go out, take a walk, and try to remove as many signs as possible. It might be a good idea to carry a baseball bat, or a stun gun, or a steak knife, in the unlikely event that someone catches you removing the sign they are responsible for placing. Anyone who answers these ads is either a)a sucker, b)desperate, or c)both. Wouldn't it make you feel good to realize you are saving some poor, hopeless, unemployed single mother a couple of bucks? People are so desperate to make any money that they will gladly fork over tens to hundreds of dollars to an "opportunity" that seems too good to be true. Often, one's "too good to be true" meter gets desensitized by desperation.

I really, really hate to admit this, but I've let sheer desperation get the best of myself on two fucking occasions, TWO FUCKING OCCASIONS, after losing two different jobs. I consider myself to be a pretty intelligent person (in some ways, at least), but I let my despondent, pathetic hope get the best of me. Now, it makes me feel pretty good to tear these signs down, and to watch the people in traffic gawk at me, wondering what the hell it is I'm doing.


See also: Priority One Safety, Medical Billing. Do a search on www.bbb.org for "work at home" for more information.