(thing) by magicmanzach Tue Oct 22 2002 at 0:02:30
The opening credits for Kevin Smith's Mallrats take the form of the covers to a number of comic books based on the movie. Most are parodies of existing comics; comics are also a recurring theme through the movie. The comics are as follows:

  • Angry Pop Comix
    • Parody of: Nothing.
    • Issue #: None.
    • Price: "You wish this comic was 12¢"
    • Approved by the Comics Code Authority
    • Characters: Brandi and her father.
    • Description: Brandi is portrayed as an empty-headed, scantily-dressed teen in the background, saying "Oh no! You've added T.S. to your collection! Gosh Dad! When will I ever get to keep a boyfriend?" Her father, appearing as a muscle-bound, armor-clad warrior, holds T.S.'s head on a chain of skulls, saying "He... just... wasn't... RIGHT!" He also has a tattoo reading "Punk is DEAD! So are YOU!", and two smiley face pins.
  • Legends of the Dork Knights
  • Adventures of The Man
    • Parody of: "Stan the Man", a nickname for comics pioneer Stan Lee.
    • Issue #: 1 (Super First Issue).
    • Publisher: Unspecified.
    • Characters: Stan Lee, extras.
    • Description: Stan Lee stands over hundreds of scantily-clad women, opening a leather jacket to reveal a shirt with a winking dollar bill.
  • Defective Comics
    • Parody of: Detective Comics, another Batman comic.
    • Issue #: 69 (January).
    • Publisher: View Askew, implicitly DC Comics.
    • Characters: T.S., Jay, Silent Bob, a hero appearing to be T.S.'s alter-ego, and a whole lotta robots.
    • Description: T.S. is trapped by a horde of malicious-looking robots; his alter-ego (the character Madman, by Mike Allred attempts to pull him out as Jay and Silent Bob battle a large robot on the side.
  • New Jersey 07732
    • Parody of: The logo resembles Beverly Hills 90210, but the overall look is very Image Comics. 07732 is Highlands, New Jersey.
    • Issue #: 1 (1st Explosive Issue!) (July)
    • Price: $1.95 ($2.75 Canada)
    • Publisher: None (looks a lot like Image).
    • Characters: Renee
    • Description: Renee appears in a seductive pose, holding a serrated knife in a shadowed hand. She bears a belt buckle shaped like a skull. Art by Jae Lee.
  • Buttman Adventures
  • Brandi - The Last Babe On Earth
    • Parody of: None.
    • Issue #: 1 (1st Issue) (November).
    • Price: 20¢
    • Publisher: KS Comics
    • Approved by the Comics Code Authority
    • Characters: Brandi.
    • Description: Brandi flees across a lava field from an imposing dark shape. Collapsing buildings are visible in the background. Subtitle: "Men who act like beasts! Beasts who act like men! See the world of...", leading up to the main title. "A sensational Mall-Rats blockbuster!"
  • The Incredible Bulk
    • Parody of: The Incredible Hulk.
    • Issue#: 1 (October).
    • Price: 12¢
    • Publisher: KS Comics
    • Approved by the Comics Code Authority
    • Characters: William, two children.
    • Description: William, a hulking beast, crashes through a wall holding a Magic Eye painting labeled "Sailboat". The children flee in terror; the boy's shirt reads "Kudzu Tech." A caption reads "He's the Magic Eye Misfit."
  • Weapon Sex
    • Parody of: Weapon X, a Wolverine comic.
    • Issue#: None.
    • Price: None.
    • Publisher: Mallrats Comics.
    • Not Approved by the Comics Code Authority (actual caption).
    • Characters: Tricia
    • Description: Tricia appears, nude, but concealed by a plethora of cables all over her body, similar to the Weapon X cover. She also bears Wolverine's adamantium claws on both hands. Visible are a wedding ring, a book ("Boregasm", and a gas tank (all flying through the air.)
  • Fantastic Two
    • Parody of: Fantastic Four.
    • Issue #: 273 (December).
    • Price: 60¢
    • Publisher: Mallrats Comics.
    • Approved by the Comics Code Authority.
    • Characters: Miss Ivannah, Brodie, T.S.
    • Description: Ivannah appears with *ahem* assets emphasized. Brodie and T.S. appear, staring, two the left. Caption: "Can T.S.™ and Brodie™ survive the AWESOME POWER of Ivannah's crystal balls?
  • Gwen13
    • Parody of: Gen13.
    • Issue #: 1 (March).
    • Price: $2.50 ($3.50 Canada)
    • Publisher: View Askew Comixx.
    • Characters: Gwen.
    • Gwen appears in a traditional Gen13-style costume (spandex and colors), with an indistinguishable emblem on her right shoulder. Credits: Smith | Hughes.
  • Brodieman
    • Parody of: Nothing in particular; resembles the Hulk.
    • Issue #: None.
    • Price: None.
    • Publisher: Mallrats Comics.
    • Characters: Brodie, T.S., Renee.
    • Brodie appears at twice-normal size, with glowing green skin. T.S. and Renee look on on right and left, respectively. Brodie's shirt bears a "B" emblem resembling Superman's.
  • Mallrats
    • Parody of: Nothing.
    • Price: None.
    • Publisher: Kitchen Sink Press
    • "For Mature or Troubled Audiences"
    • Characters: Full cast.
    • Description: La Fours fumes at a portable phone; Jay and Silent Bob aim a Batarang upwards; Renee clings to Brodie's leg as he stands triumphantly on a heap of comics; William stares threateningly; Renee's father eats a pretzel; T.S. and Brandi embrace; the corner reads "in this issue: Stan "The Man" Lee!" By Kevin Smith. Splash: "Superhero Anatomy! Topless Fortunetelling! Bunny Bashing! And More!"

Thanks to Bobh and Chris-O for corrections.

I like it!